Seasons

07: Save Me, Please!

Lost, I am so lost.

A Z A R I A H   D' A M O R E

I'm back to my normal self. All weird and funny.

After we got back, the feeling of being around my friends. And school atmosphere after a scary weekend. It just felt right.

Anyways I missed Kylo. There he stands in all his glory outside my dorm waiting like a gent.

He stares at his phone not even fucking looking up to say hi.

I slap his shoulder. "How dare you not know that I was coming up."

He rubs his shoulder as his eyebrows furrow in. "Dude! I was texting Katalina. Why the fuck would you slap me you asshole." I look at him and just stare. "I knew you were coming anyways you dumbass, you literally told me."

Kylo is the only one out of all of us that calls Lina "Katalina." It's that or "Bear," he says it's reserved for him only.

"Still!" I throw my hands up. "Let's go I don't got time for your bullshit."

Kylo's mouth drops open. "Dude what did you fucking eat this morning? Shit?"

I turn around. "Ha-ha lo." I bring my hands to the front, forming closed fist and moving them in a circle like I'm about to fight him.

He slaps the back of my neck. "Get your ass inside."

I push open the door. The guys doing their own thing. I place my bag down on the benches and Lo does the same. A tap is felt on my shoulder.

"Oh hey coach, what's up?"

"Come over here for a second would you?" He says, walking away. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Yeah for sure, what is it?"

"So I suppose you know how many other coaches who are coming to BH to watch y'all play, right?"

"Right..."

"I want you to know that I support what ever that you choose to do, I'm saying this ahead of time because I know a lot of them are going to want you. Kylo says he's staying put no matter what, but I don't know about you so I just wanted to tell you I love you son, you've been nothing but good to me." He pats me on the head before walking away. Leaving me to take in what he had just said.

So Kylo made his decision that quick. Like the snap of your fingers? While I'm over here already thinking about the possibilities and schools, opportunities.

Is he staying because he knows that he's only a couple hours away from Lina? And the fact that if he were to choose somewhere else he'd be even farther? I mean Lina is one reason he would stay but what are the others? 

Or is that the only reason. Because I'm thinking about which schools would come and if they're possibly better than Beach Haven University.

I stay wondering what could be different. My lifestyle? The new team and dynamic. I don't even know at this point. 

What do I want?

Do I want to stay or do I want to go and give myself new opportunities?

But again I still have some time. I can wait it out and think about it.

I wanna do what's best for me but still think of Athena. Because I don't want to leave her behind. If- If it's possible I would take her with me. But things or this thing doesn't work like that.

It makes me worried. But If I know what I'm going to chose then I have no reason to be worried.

I run a hand over my mouth as I walk back over to my bag to grab my water bottle. Leaning my head back as I let the cold liquid run down my throat.