Seasons

21: Rosy Lips and Therapy

love you twice

A T H E N A    R O S E

"You did great."

Standing awkwardly in front of my teacher she praises me on my good work. I had asked her for an extension so here she is telling me face-to-face about my work.

"This storyline is beyond good," she says, scrolling through the word document. "It's crazy good," She turns to look at me. "You could be an author. I know this class is an elective for you. But Athena you're crazy good."

I smile. Not knowing what to say. She's said crazy twice already.

"Thank you," I say looking around. "I appreciate it seriously."

She turns her head and leans her back against the chair while she looks at me. "It's rude of me to ask but," she pauses. "Most emotions and feelings, all that, come from real experiences or situations that are happening. Is something happening to trigger this award-worthy short story?"

Rude to ask but asks anyways. Okay.

I laugh nervously. "Something like that, I guess just pent-up emotions?"

The professor nods in contentment. "Do you mind if I use this for future examples?"

"As long as you give me credit." I joke.

"Of course, now I won't hold you up any longer. You're free to go." She waves me off.

*****

I walk down the path toward the beach with my hands in my pocket. Today I wear a jean jacket with a gray hoodie underneath, the hood covering my hair so the sun doesn't burn into it. There's a slight breeze today, not a crazy astonishing breeze thought.

Classes weren't too bad today. But I didn't care for them much anyways.

A few people pass me and a few cars too. Some cars have their windows down, blasting music, and some have their windows cracked open with a dog in the back. The options are endless.

Finally reaching the beach, I find a spot near the water but not too close and set my bag down. Taking off my jean jacket, I place it on the sand and sit down. Watching the waves crash against the rocks, sizzling each time it reaches the shore and retreats back. The waves lap over one another. The sight is beautiful.

Segals walk on the sand. Leaving their footprints with each step.

This is my therapy (and my chapstick, god I love chapstick).

The sound of waves, the feel of the sand, the wind. I could never get enough.

Sometimes alone time is the best type of therapy but! The spot matters too, like where you choose to be. And here I am at the beach. It's my sanctuary.

A sigh leaves my lips as I stare into the ocean. The reflecting of the sun setting shines against the water. A mirror in a sense.

Getting up I walk over to the water and dip my toes in. The water warm yet cold, not freezing but not too cold either.

These days I feel like I'm being dramatic. I probably am. But like I just, it's hard to finally let go, you know? Like I want to but at the same time do I really?

I know I shouldn't hold him back or whatever. But I just honestly don't know. And this back and forth has just gotten worse. I am the main reason for my own problems but I don't know how to control it.

It was a stressful situation. You have to agree with me on that. Like it's okay to react the way I'm reacting. Because like all of a sudden boom, mic drop.