Thin Ice ✔️

chapter fifteen: regrets

***this chapter mentions some mature subjects so read at your own risk***

His hand had a tight hold on my wrist as I tried to keep up with him. He had driven us back to his house but when I tried to slow him down, his grip only got stronger.

"Ryan-you're hurting me," I said in a low voice, trying not to gain attention from the people we were passing.

He slows down and lets go of my arm. I brought my wrist up to my chest and started to rub over where his hand was.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head and turned around. "I didn't mean to," he apologizes.

"It's okay," I said unsurely.

"It was just a tough game and-"

"I know. But...is there anything I could do to help?" I asked. He didn't say anything but he just looked at me. I was awkwardly standing there in silence but I continued on. "I just don't want you to be upset and-"

Without another word he smashes his lips onto mine. It caught me off guard but I kissed him back. It didn't last long before I pulled back.

"What was that for?" I asked, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks.

"I've been wanting to do that for a long time," he smiled, leaning back in. His words made me feel less nervous than before but my nerves came back when he led me upstairs. We went into a room I assumed was his and he shut the door behind me.

He pulled me closer and I looked up at him. "Are you sure?" I asked. I mean he seemed pretty angry a few moments ago.

"Very," he said shortly before kissing me again. I laughed against his lips and locked my arms around his neck.

I wouldn't call myself inexperienced because I was definitely not an innocent child. Especially during highschool. But since then I haven't really done anything like this.

And for good reason.

But that didn't mean I forgot how to feel. I wanted this right?

Right?

I was still a little hesitant going forward with this but I did it anyway. As he lowered me onto the bed I felt my gut sink but I ignored it.

And that was probably my biggest mistake.

~~~~~

When I woke up the next morning everything hurt. I stared at my wrist and looked at the nail marks that broke my skin. I ran my finger over them and felt the small indentations he left on me.

With a sigh I turned over and my heart dropped. There was no one there. The sheets were tossed to the side and the pillow was cold.

He fucking left.

Anger washed over me as I thought back to last night. Everything I did was hesitant. I spent so much time worrying about if he was okay and if I was pleasing him enough that I forgot about myself.

I'm such an idiot.

But as much as I'm mad at him for leaving, I'm mad at myself. I promised myself that I would never let anything like this happen ever again. Eighteen year old me would not be proud of the situation I'm in right now.

With a sigh I sat up and started to put my clothes back on. The house was silent and so was I when I heard a conversation outside.

"Nah she's asleep. I checked on her a few minutes ago, what's up?" someone asked.

I knew that voice. It was Ryan. I couldn't tell who he was talking to but what he said next crushed me.

"Oh, Thompson. Yeah she's a fucking slut. And a good one too, she was so easy." he laughed.

I stood in his room, dead silent.

What did he just call me?

This was exactly what I was worried about. I thought Ryan was so great but it turns out he's just a fucking liar. A manipulator. And a fucking player.

Is that all he thinks of me as? A slut? Right now I felt like trash, used, and thrown away like garbage. But he didn't care, did he?

How was I so naive? I should've seen this coming but here I am, heartbroken, in a room after one of the worst nights of my life.

God, I should've never trusted him.

I grabbed my purse from where I dropped it before and opened his door. He was looking down at his phone but turned his head up when he heard the door. When his eyes met mine I've never felt such anger towards one person.

There was only one other person in my life that I truly hated with all my heart. And Ryan has just come close second on that list.

I didn't spare him another look before walking down the hall. I heard him call my name, but I had nothing else to say to him.

I think he said it all himself.

I needed to get out of here and fast. I knew the bus stop was just a few blocks away and it was my only option. I started walking but it was hard to walk fast. My legs were killing me.

When the bus rolled to a stop in front of me I quickly got on and sat in the back. I was a mess but I wasn't about to go home. I don't trust myself alone when I'm like this. Things didn't go well the last time I was.

A few stops later I got off the bus and looked at the building in front of me.

God Callum, you better be home.

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i don't think you'll ever hate Ryan as much as i do.

got murder on my mind :)))

i also chose not to go into detail bc i don't think Ryan is important enough. and not who we want details with.

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