12. Ray Toro

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Tough life

Romantic Fluff.
Teacher Ray.
Y/N's 18
Mental health topics and self harm!!

I was sitting in class, nothing unusual.
School is hell like every day.
I struggle with anxiety and depression and every day feels like another great mission to defeat an army or something.
I wouldn't say that I'm emotionally weak but I cannot stand loud noises or someone yelling straight at me.
It's not like I don't deal with those things, I do, but not a healthy way. I take a lot of pills.
But no one knows that and I want it to stay that way.

"Y/N" Mr. Toro's voice echoed through my head. "You know I don't tolerate sleeping in my class"
I snapped awake. "I'm sorry sir!"
He looked mad but just sighed and went back to teaching.
Mr. Toro is one of those teacher that you can look at but can't figure out if he cares or not.
I've seen him look concerned about students but it hardly shows up on his face.
He glanced back at me and turned back to the blackboard immediately.

I'm not surprised, I'm always wearing a dark hoodie and ripped jeans, I have dark circles under my eyes and my hair is dirty and messy.
I know for a fact that most of my teachers don't care about what happens to their students outside school hours.

I doodled in my notebook, trying to look like I was taking notes, glancing up at the board once in a while.
I drew a picture Mr. Toro, he's pretty but he's not that nice.
At least in my experience.
That might be because I don't pay that much attention and get bad grades.

"Y/N WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SLEEPING IN MY CLASS!?"
Instant fear struck me like lightning and I snapped my eyes shut tightly, ducking my head. "I- I'm sorry Mr. T- Toro"
I felt like I was about to burst into tears.
I looked up at him, his face softened a little.
"Get back to work, you have a lot to do"

I realized that I haven't taken any pills today, not even my anxiety medication.
I sneaked out the pill bottle and chucked a couple pills in my mouth.
No one saw me, no trouble today.
I went back to work and started erasing the doodles, only leaving the drawing of Mr. Toro.

Class went smoothly, everything was fine.
No one yelled at me.
As the bell rang I rushed to pack my things.
Mr. Toro gave me a glance, narrowing his eyes.
I walked out and to my locker.

I waited until all of the other students had gone to the cafeteria for lunch.
I took out my pills and a razor blade form my bag.
Just a couple new cuts and some more and more.
I rolled down my sleeve and put the razor blade away.
I didn't take much, just my antidepressants and some other pills.
Then I heard footsteps coming down the hallway.
They were too loud to come from a student.
I looked up, only to see Mr. Toro. "Y/N my classroom, now"
His voice was loud and stern.
I looked down and walked with him down the corridor.

"I'm tired of you sleeping in my class" he said. "And I never thought you'd be the type to do drugs in school"
"Mr. Toro I-" I stuttered.
"SILENCE!! YOU STAY QUIET UNTIL I NEED YOU TO TALK!!"
I nodded.
"YOU WERE TAKING WHO KNOWS WHAT PILLS IN SCHOOL!! YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING IN CLASS!! YOU'RE GETTING DETENTION!!"
I ran to the door and tried to open it, only to realize that it was locked.
Mr. Toro grabbed my wrist and winced. "YOU ARE NOT LEAVING!!"

I tore my wrist from his grip and started crying.
He took a step closer to me and I pressed my back against the door.
My knees gave in and slumped onto the floor.
Mr. Toro looked down at his hand, seeing the blood and then looking at me.
His expression dropped and his eyes widened.
"Y/N" his voice now calm.
"N- No, go away!" I cried.
He got on his knees and took my hand in his. "Y/N I'm so sorry" his voice now barely a whisper. "I didn't know- You- all this"
His voice started to break. "I'm so sorry for everything"
His hands were shaking and he started crying. "I didn't mean to"
He hugged me, it was warm and comforting, yet odd.
"Mr. Toro?" I whispered.
"I don't want you to suffer. I love you. You're my favorite"
What?
Love me?
FAVORITE??
"Mhm?" I whispered. "What do you mean?"
"You're my favorite, in every way possible. I love you" he said again.
The words felt unusual but heart melted on the spot and I let out a sigh.
"I love you so much and I never realized it"
Mr. Toro looked at me and bit his lower lip.
"I said that out loud, didn't I?"
"Yeah"
I just kissed him and he kissed back.
"So all that yelling-"
"Was to cover up the fact that I love you"
I touched his cheek carefully, wiping away tears.
I kissed him again, a smile curved his lips as I did so.

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