Degrees Of Honor The Honor Series Book One

Prologue

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Prologue

Cassie

Life is like a deck of cards in a serious poker game. Unfortunately, I was holding a lousy hand. My family loved me, and although I didn't always agree with my parents, they raised me well. It was when I decided to defy my father and go out on my own that everything went to hell in a hand-basket. I rebelled against my father. and his iron-fisted, demanding control of my life. I thought I knew what was best for me. I thought he was wrong at every intersection, but as it turned out, it was me that was making the mistakes.

I was wrong thinking I knew best.

The moment I walked out, it all started to go downhill fast. My father knew the relationship I had hid from him was a mistake. The day he found out, he hounded me night and day to come back home. My Dad had taught me at an early age not to trust any man he didn't approve of. I knew the rigorous hoops every guy I dated was forced to endure. I was sick of the control and had to find out why he was so strict the hard way. 

I should have listened. He is the Colonel for a reason.

Ever since I arrived in Heart Butte, I knew that eventually I would have to face my demons. But I felt safe here, even if I was still in hiding. I don't know how many times I settled somewhere new. I have moved around so much in the past. Everywhere from big cities to small towns, and I never felt at home. Here in this small Montana mountain town, I knew I had found what I was looking for.

Still, I kept my distance. I've made several acquaintances since we got here, but I haven't allowed myself to find a close friend. No one to talk things over with.  No one to gossip with. Over the past two years, until coming here, I've been completely on my own. Keeping people at bay has become as normal for me as breathing. It is just too dangerous for them to get attached to me or vice versa. 

Dad was right though. When I got involved with Anthony Dean, my life was turned upside down. Each day I was with him, he kept me on my toes. I never knew just what would set off his temper. But one fateful day changed it all. That day gave me the courage to strike out on my own and run.

The letter I found in Anthony's desk drawer had thrown my life into a living nightmare. That single piece of paper has made me doubt everything I was so sure of. From my trust in my parents, my confidence in myself to everything about Anthony I thought I knew. That moment sent me on the run for my life. A life I now know will be full of pain and loneliness as long as he lives.

I can face my demons. I can cope with the pain of the past. My mistakes are mine to own. It was the loneliness that ate at me late at night, when I couldn't sleep. It was difficult not letting anyone get too close to me. It was necessary and I knew it was for the best. I have to do what is best for my child.

A child who will never know his father.

I could keep him safe. I kept telling myself that in hopes it would be true. We remain separate from everyone for now but it wouldn't be much longer when that would have to change. Once Jacob is old enough to make friends and start school things would have to change. I can't keep running.  Eventually, I'm going to have to play my cards and deal with the consequences.

    Moments like this I can feel the exhaustion setting into my bones. As the night creeps in, that familiar feeling of loneliness encompasses me. My shoulders ache as I roll my neck in slow circles to loosen the muscles that have cramped up. Looking down at the laptop, my eyes blur at the numbers on the screen. The spreadsheet staring back at me holds only more bad news. The bank statement is my nemesis tonight just as the mortgage bill was last night. The dollars are dwindling too low. I'm going to have to fix the finances quickly if I want to be able to make the bills for the next few months.