Degrees Of Honor The Honor Series Book One

Chapter 15

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Chapter 15

Cassie

I smiled a small, shy smile as I sipped my coffee and watched Travis over the rim of my cup. I'm trying to keep it relaxed, easy. It's better for me to stay calm as if the night before was just a regular night for me. Maybe it was for him, maybe he's used to dealing with needy women clinging to him during their time of need. Maybe it was as casual as he seems to be making it. Maybe it didn't mean as much to him as it did to me.

Maybe I'm just over-reacting again. It's not like I've never done that before.

"Thank you, for last night. I appreciate that you let me freak out. I'm sorry if I..." I stumbled through my words but as quick as I began I stopped when I saw the expression on his face. The relaxed, easy expression was gone. There was a quick flash of hurt, a flash of anger before all emotion was gone. His features hardened and all I could think was how angry he must be.

"You don't have to thank me." I heard the hurt that Travis was trying to hide, surprising me instantly that he would feel disappointed. It's not that I didn't want to be with him.

As he set down his cup of coffee and looked into my eyes, he let me see a glimpse of those feelings he is trying so hard to set aside. "I didn't do it for you." A smile slipped over his lips then he tried to open himself just a little to me. "I needed you last night with me. I'm not going to lie to you Cassie, I want you. I wanted to find you with me this morning, too. I had some idea we could try out while Jacob was asleep." That arrogant, mischievous, smirk appears on his face and makes me laugh despite my embarrassment. A red flush heated my skin, burning my skin from the inside out as it crept over my body.

He decided to come clean. I guess he felt it was time for full disclosure since I had told him my secrets. He fiddled with his cup avoiding my gaze while he searched for courage. "I just want you, Cassie. You and Jacob. I didn't plan on that. I didn't expect this to complicate things. I mean, I came here to do a job, not to... You're not just a job for me, not now. I want you in my bed." He started rambling. For the first time in a very long time, I had made a man nervous.

How can Travis be nervous? It's not like I'm this woman who has men falling at my feet. I've never had someone react to me this way. He must be used to women throwing themselves at him. I must seem completely cold and reserved compared to that.

"I don't know what to say." I felt my face flush again with a longing need to not feel like I'm in the spotlight. Why can't I just act normal around this man? Embarrassed by my ridiculous behavior I stare down at my hands.

Without warning Travis reached out to lace his fingers with mine, gently stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. We both silently examine our linked hands. The differences are stark, yet comforting knowing we don't have to be the same.

Those strong hands of his, scarred but tender with his touch. They seem capable of holding my heart safely without bruising or crushing me. How would those hands feel touching the rest of my body as easily as this? What would it feel like to be that close to him, that intimate with another man after everything I've been through? How will I know when I'm ready to find out?

"Tell me I don't have to buy a bed for you today." His voice is rough and thick as if he's as nervous as I am. My eyes darted to his, in surprise at the question.

Then he smiled as if he found my response funny and reached for my other hand. Holding them both, he lifted our joined hands to his lips and kissed my palms. "Tell me you'll sleep with me again tonight, and the next and every night after that. Tell me I'm not imagining what's happening here. I know I'm not alone, you felt this attraction between us too. I know something freaked you out last night. Tell me what happened, so I can help you get past it."