Degrees Of Honor The Honor Series Book One

Chapter 8

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Chapter 8

Cassie

The house was quiet at last as I sat in the old rocking chair, my sweet boy snuggled in my lap. His small head resting on my shoulder as I sing quietly, trying to put him to sleep for the night. My mind once again wanders to Travis. I can't seem to stop thinking about him. I know I shouldn't, I know nothing will come of it, but I think of him just the same.

He has been pulling his weight and then some around the house. I'm grateful for what he's doing and I feel guilty that he feels obligated to do it. He is taking on jobs I can't afford to have done. I didn't ask him to do any of it, he just started doing it. I don't know what to think of it.

The deck was bowing, the wood rotted and the next thing I knew he was ripping out the old splintered boards and hammering in new ones. He has helped me with the little things too, giving me some quiet time with Jacob. Travis has become an asset to me, one I'm not sure I can afford. What happens when we have to disappear again? I'll lose everything I have found here and I can't explain it to Travis.

As I stop singing, I rest my chin on top of my sleeping boy's head and rock slowly. I think about what's most important to me. Jacob is my world. His safety, his happiness is what matters to me. I will protect him with my life. If that means I have to do a formal inquest of every person who comes into our lives, I'll do it. If I have to keep every stranger at bay to keep him safe, if it means I will never know the touch of another man, so be it. I made this life for us the moment Anthony walked into it, now I have to live with my choices.

The rocker continues the slow easy motion back and forth. My baby slowly drifts off curled against my chest and sucking his thumb. His new favorite stuffed puppy is hooked in his arm. These are the moments I cherish. The quiet time I get to just hold him and watch him sleep.

All the thoughts of what I've done, what has happened to lead me where I am now, and what I might have to do to get my life back run like a movie in my head. Here in the quiet of the night, alone with my thoughts and the baby that changed everything for me and love so dearly, I'm able to peek at what I wish we had. I imagine the life I want to give Jacob and ask myself if it's possible. Here in the quiet I'm able to clear my mind and at last find some focus.

Travis doesn't seem like the kind of man who would hurt me or Jacob. He actually seems quite protective of us. Yes, he has the ability, and the knowledge to do a lot of damage to us if he wanted, but there's no reason to do it. I have to keep it that way. I know if I let him get too close to us, it could be just as dangerous for him as it is for her. If Anthony were to find us, I will need Travis on my side. He is an asset in many ways. Just his presence here has helped me feel safer but I have to remember who and what he is. Travis was trained, skilled with a military background, his past can be handy or a detriment to our lives. He could, and I believe would, protect us. I doubt he would abandon us in our time of need.

"We just have to be careful. I don't want to put anyone else in danger because of my mistakes." Whispering softly I place a gentle kiss on Jacob's head. "We just can't get used to him. We can't get attached."

Travis

I wasn't eavesdropping. I was minding my own business when I first heard her. That beautiful voice, softly singing Jacob to sleep in the dimly lit room down the hall. I tried to remind myself that I have a job to do. That getting in too deep will only muck up the water. I have an assignment and it's not wise to get attached.

But I ignored my own warning and quietly walked down the hall. Standing a step away from the door, I listened to her soft lovely voice and let it soothe me. Resting my head against the wall, the velvety soft tone lulled me. Not only did the baby relax after hearing her, but I did.