Chapter 20

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Chapter 20

Cassie

I have to stop this. Not that I don't want to continue. I do. Travis is addictive. I've made so many mistakes in my personal life that I don't think I can afford to make any more. Travis has been wonderful, and frustrating at moments, because he pushes me to be honest with him and myself. I need that. I need someone who holds me accountable. He does that.

Every kiss, every touch of his hands on my body only makes me want more. Travis is a tough man but he has such gentle hands. I tingle when he holds my face just like this, and kisses me like I'm everything to him. I'm not. But he makes me feel important, cherished, desired, and loved.

His hand slips under my shirt finding warm skin and soft flesh. The deep satisfied moan has my heart pounding. I know he likes what we're doing, I know he wants me and that's new for me. I never seemed to do anything right for Anthony.

Maybe that was a sign I should have paid attention to.

I can't think straight when he does this. Following his lead, I push at his shirt moving it out of my way. Barely moving, Travis yanks the thin material over his head with one hand and tosses it to the floor. He no sooner had his shirt off when he helped me out of mine.

Laying me back on the couch, he covered my body with his. Cradling him, I began to rock with him. Brushing our bodies off each other, pressing into my heat and sending my head spinning. He's all I can think of. This with him, the way he makes me feel, the soft sweet whispers in the dark. This is what I've always wanted but never had. This is what I was missing.

Shoes are kicked off. The last of the barriers are taken off, shoved, pushed or ripped from our bodies and tossed around the room. There's a desperate need to have each other. One we just can't ignore any longer. When he sinks into me at last, I feel complete.

This, just this, is what I've dreamed of. Two bodies moving as one. Two hearts pounding together in my ears, against my hand. He's as crazed for this as I am. And that only makes this better. Our heartbeats grow faster, our bodies pulse quicker matching the beats of our hearts.

He takes my breath away, the butterflies in my stomach, the tethered reins of control slipping out of my grasp. When I fall, as my body trembles out of control, he follows me, as wild and unquenchable need explodes sweeping us away before we collapse breathing heavily against the others' slicked skin.

My mind begins to clear and the reality of the situation becomes front and center. We just had sex. A man I've known less than six months I've given myself to knowing his life is in danger because of me. How do I ask him to stand by me knowing what that could mean?

"You're too quiet. Am I hurting you?" His rough voice softens as he props himself over me. "What is it?"

I give myself a moment, just to enjoy this feeling before I ruin it. Figuring out how to say this, I begin to speak softly. "We shouldn't have done this. I'm not what you need, Travis. You need someone who's whole, who can give you everything you deserve. I can't do that."

Travis' body suddenly went rigid. The pounding of his heart increased against my own. There's no anger in his eyes. The sympathy I had seen earlier is no longer there. They seem darker, a dark pool of blue that calls to me. Keeping his touch feather light, he cups my cheek to get me to keep my gaze on his.

The self-doubt, the self-loathing in my mind is so clear. I honestly didn't believe he could want me. Because of Anthony I felt I was not worth his time. Travis is changing that. Kissing me tenderly, his forehead drops to mine. Staying there, holding me close, he waits until I let myself relax. The man has endless patience with me.

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