𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶. [𝘢 𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘪 𝘢𝘶]

17

I THOUGHT PEOPLE looked at me a lot before, but now it's just way worse. I've heard multiple rumors at school this week. The worst one being I was the one who shot Jack.

This has been the longest week of my life. I had no homework this week since all the teachers know better than to give homework and tests out to kids the week after someone from the school died. It's Friday now, and I am extremely nervous for the last period of the day.

There was an assembly in honor of Jack today at the end of the day. It's no secret in this school that Jack and I were best friends, so I know as soon as I step foot into that assembly people are going to whispering about me. Nobody knew him like I did.

Every day after school, I go home and drink everything away. It works for a little bit, and anything that can get me away from my thoughts for a little bit works for me. I've been telling everyone that I'm fine, which is true. I'm perfectly fine and I'm handling this on my own, just in my own unique way.

I had 18 days left to save Ricky from suicide. I hate to admit it, but I haven't been thinking of him too much. That sounds awful, I know. I haven't been thinking about anybody other than Jack and his literal rotting corpse. I'm running on little to no sleep, since I've been staying up for hours every single night just trying to put the pieces together as to how the hell he didn't die the way I saw him dying.

Benjamin is definitely hiding something. There's no way he has a whole team of people dedicated to people like me and had no idea what I'm talking about. He is the definition of gaslight.

The bell rings, indicating the end of 9th period. I burst out of my seat and into the hallway, walking with my eyes to the floor towards my locker. I still haven't taken off Jack's hoodie. This week, I've been very unhygienic. I haven't taken a shower or changed since Saturday. I have no energy or motivation to. Simple everyday actions are so much harder for me now, and I don't know why.

Jenn cancelled all basketball practices until further notice. I have a feeling she only did that out of pity for me, since nobody else on the team was friends with Jack. I'm grateful she did that, since I don't think I would've showed up to practice anyways. You never know how well you're going to cope with grief until you actually experience it.

I haven't eaten much this week either. I can't bring myself to actually have a meal. I've eaten small things like toast and such, but that's pretty much it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I just really can't live without Jack. I miss him so much, it's indescribable.

"Nini!" I hear a voice behind me chirp. I look over my shoulder to see who it was, and grow confused when I see a very cheery Ej standing next to me. "How ya doin'?"

I don't reply, instead I speed up my walking pace to try and get rid of him but he just speeds up as well. "Good answer. So, listen." He starts, and I can tell by the tone of his voice that whatever is about to come out of his mouth is not going to be good. "There's a Halloween party this weekend."