𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶. [𝘢 𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘪 𝘢𝘶]

43

I GET UP from my seat at lunch and storm out of the cafeteria, desperately needing to blow off some steam. I storm down the hallway, my heart pounding with every step I take. Who the hell does he think he is? I don't know what's gotten into him. How can he go from being all whiny that I wouldn't give him a hug, to pushing me away so badly?

I was angry. Furious, even. But on top of all that, there was a much stronger feeling. Hurt. I felt hurt, and I don't even know why. I don't know what I expected. He was drunk, of course he didn't mean it. So why am I so upset?

It feels like my heart is being twisted in 2 different directions. Anger, and hurt. I can't be at school right now. I don't really know where to go, but I just can't be here right now.

I head right towards the closest exit and waste no time in pushing open the doors and walking right out. I walk around the school towards the parking lot where my car was and get in, turning my car on, and driving out of the parking lot.

I was gripping the steering wheel much harder than usual. I'm so confused, and sad, and mad, it felt like my emotions were going to give me whiplash. I don't know where I'm driving to, but I just need to be somewhere else.

Meaningless, is how he described it, and now I just can't seem to get that word out of my mind. It's like that simple, three-syllable word, was holding me captive.

Meaningless, meaningless, meaningless.

That's all it was to him. Meaningless. Maybe that's all I am to him. Meaningless.

It was so much more than meaningless to me. I don't know what I felt whilst I was laying there still as a statue on his bed, but I felt something. I felt something, and now I can't think of anything else.

I'm being ridiculous. He clearly thinks nothing of it, so it should mean nothing to me too. We're teenagers. I'm sure it was just a momentary moment of excessive hormones, or something.

It should mean nothing, so I don't know why it doesn't.

He's the only person who knows my biggest secret. I do things with him that I don't do with anyone else. I feel things with him that I don't feel with anyone else.

I don't know what's changed about me within these past 24 hours, but somethings different.

Something's definitely different.

I eventually find myself pulling in to a parking space at... the hospital. When did I end up here? I was too stuck in my thoughts, I didn't even realize I was driving here.

I take a deep breath, trying to collect myself before I go in. I need to do this, it's been much too long.

I unbuckle my seatbelt and step out of my car, my breath shaking as I walk up to the hospital doors. The doors slide open at my presence as I walk up to the front desk, seeing Rylee working there as she usually is.