Taken By Sleep {Joshler} |Completed|

Surrounded By Josh

I silently walked down the sidewalk. The sun was shining bright and the air was warm, but my insides were the total opposite.

It's been almost two weeks and I'm going back to school after...yeah..that. I had gone into a very depressed state and wasn't physically nor emotionally healthy to go to school last week and the week before. I had been able to take my exams at home though, so I guess that's one less thing to worry about for this week.

I hadn't made it very far when I just happened to glance up and see Josh's house beside me. I was about to turn and walk up to his door before I realized what I was doing.

I stopped myself before I could put my foot down and turned back to going straight, trying to forget what I had just done. Must be a habit.

I finally made it to school and walked through the morning crowd, not particularly rushing anywhere. I hadn't really had a mood lately, I've just been...blank.

I still didn't really feel anything except for the occasional sadness and longing whenever I thought of Josh. I didn't care about a lot either. Not about eating, working, what I look like, or even the sympathetic looks that I got from people in the halls around me.

I didn't do anything more than glance at them and then look back down again.

I finally made it to first period and managed to get through it without talking to anyone. People would look at me and seem like they wanted to say something, but they never did.

The day went by dreadfully slow, but I didn't get bothered by it. Music was my last class, and then I would be home.

When I walked in I sat in my usual spot, next to Josh's old seat. As the others were filing into the classroom, my teacher called me up to her desk.

"Yes?" I asked quietly.

"Hello Tyler. I know that this may not be a good time, but during the past 2 weeks we have been presenting our music projects, and despite what happened, I still need a project from you. I'm not expecting one tomorrow but could you maybe get me one by the end of next week?" She asked politely.

"Okay." I said, knowing that it would be crap whatever it would be.

I guess I could try Guns for Hands just on piano, but it wouldn't sound how I want it to. And it's not like I can play both the drums and piano and sing at the same time.

Oh well, I would figure something out...hopefully.

--

It's Thursday, and I still don't have a song for music. I've had writers block all week and the songs I've already written are too personal to perform.

I haven't been speaking too many people besides Debbie and sometimes Mark when I see him. It's usually just a wave since I've only met him once.

People have tried to come say something to me like, 'sorry about what happened' or, 'I hope you're doing okay, it'll get better', but I just brush them off. It's not that I don't like them, it's just that I'm not in a point in my life where I want to speak to many people or make new friends.

As I was walking towards the doors at the end of the hallway to go to my car, I heard I familiar voice call my name. I kept walking though, pretending not to hear.

But the voice only got louder until the person responsible for it was beside me.

"Hey Tyler, you alright man?" Mark asked me.

No I'm not alright, do I look like I am? Is this kid really that dumb?

"What do you think?" I mumbled expressionless.

"Aw I meant besides that. Come on, name something good that had happened today." He said.

I didn't say anything.

"Really Tyler. We've got to stay positive." He pressed.

"Not talking to people." I glanced over at him. "but you ruined that."

He frowned. "You're not thinking very positively."

I shrugged.

"Tyler, I understand that you're depressed and heartbroken, but that doesn't mean that you have to pass it on to everyone else." He accused. "At least act like you're happy."

I stopped walking and turned to him. "That's the thing Mark, it would be acting. Nobody would believe me." I said quietly.

"Stop it with that negativity and sadness! Smile. Just a little." He offered.

I looked at him solemnly.

"Ty, I know you can smile." He sad as he poked my face.

I flinched at the nickname. Josh made it up and was the only one who really used it. I felt my eyes watering. I had to leave. I had spoken too much and my throat was hurting from it. Now I felt it tightening.

I turned away and quickly walked to my car. Fortunately Mark hadn't decided to follow me, so I made it to my car without having to stop. When I was in, I drove straight home, eager to let out my tears and get away from people.

_____

Sorry it's a shawty, but vote and comment still maybe?