Becoming an Oni in this land of illusion

Chapter 21

Marisa and I are sitting on the log near the stream inside the forest of magic

True to its name the forest is magical and breathtaking with its massive biodiversity and countless inhabitants

But the forest is very deadly to humans because of the massive mana lingering in the air and people that have resistance can only venture here

"Ibaraki"

"What is it?"

"Can I ask what you think of me?"

"what do I think about you?..."

"I could answer that you are my close friend but I doubt that's the answer you're looking for

"to be honest you are quite eccentric"

"ehh?!"

"you just go here and there without caring about consequences, you just do what you want and have fun with it"

and I envy that...

"But despite it, you could say that kind of way of living is strangely attractive"

For me as a person that is being shackled by my mind

"I see~"

She seemed in a good mood after hearing it...

"how about me? What do you think of me?"

"I think you are a very kind person"

All of my body was just taken aback after hearing that

"What makes you say it?"

Because if you said that in front of the people that I killed I'm a hundred percent sure you will be drowned by curses

I'm not kind I'm just good at acting unbothered and restraining myself

Also, I always attack other yokai daily if they attack me and I didn't plan to spare them

"I don't know I just feel like it"

"what do you mean?"

"Whenever I always get touchy towards you, you didn't push me away or shove me but gently chided me to not do it"

And I'm tired to be repetitive so I don't bother to chide you again

"whenever Reimu tried to borrow money from you, you didn't get angry at her for not paying it"

What I can do against her? She can avoid anything and I'm weaker than her

"I see..."

"though This bothered me lately..."

"You seemed troubled every time Ibaraki"

Yeah... I admit that I have no solutions to help me with it and I could only hope to have amnesia if I wanted a new start without these unsolvable problems

"I've just realized how much knowledge I don't know about myself"

"I usually impulsively do things"

When I broke their strings that have been deeply embedded in me

I feel I lose a sense of purpose it's like I have no goal...

"goal..."

"that's what I need!"

"I forgot the most essential thing for a living being and that is a goal in its lifetime a long-term goal or a finish line"

Many people's goals will be to have a happy family and live their best