CPR

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Things I remember about my 6th booking. I worked a woman named Kara Abs. She was in great shape. She couldn't work for shit. She beat the crap out of me. Because she wasn't good not because she wanted to. Probably. When I went to get paid the promoter talked to me for 90 minutes about what a woman needs to do to make it in wrestling.

His advice for women in the biz was to be "CPR", Clean, Pretty & Reliable. Reliable makes sense. That's true of everyone regardless of gender. Showing up is more than half the battle. Clean? What the fuck? Is there some fake urban dictionary meaning to clean that I don't know?

The supposed slang meanings of clean are; 'having no weapons or drugs' which makes sense when dealing with wrestlers but more for guys, 'having no STDs' which could be a very roundabout way to say that you should let the promoters stick it to you for bookings, and "cool, tight, or awesome".

Maybe he meant the last one? If I was more CPR maybe I would have been able to tease Brad's interest in sex into getting more information. Probably not though, I don't have the temperament for that sort of thing.

The worst part after he stomped off when I said we wouldn't be having sex he left me with the bill. Fucker.

First I made an awkward call to Mary to tell her that a random dude in at least his late 50s might be gunning for her. Then I hit up the vet clinics in Menomonie where the Satanic vigilante murders allegedly happened. Did you know that drug addicts rob vet clinics because they have ketamine? That wasn't something I knew about, being a big city sophisticate that I am.

Did you know that when you look like I do and walk into a vet clinic without an animal in your care or an appointment the staff of that clinic assume you're there to rob them? I saw a cop show once where a black guy was talking about how despite their reputation Midwesterners aren't actually friendly, quite the opposite, but it's the WAY they're unfriendly, like they're doing you a favor somehow. That character was correct.

One place locked the doors when they saw me coming but since I wasn't actually trying to rob it all ended up fine. A cop did show up at once place but that's just because he was having lunch across the street and saw me walk in.

The good news is that no one found me asking about an older lady who might have been involved with an 80's Satanic murder that strange. They thought I was a podcaster. Thanks murder porn industry! Even better news I found her.

Country Doctors where CeCe works isn't a vet clinic, it's an animal hospital. She was 17 in 1985 when this went down. She started seeing dogs hacked all up by the side of the road on her way home and told her boyfriend at the time Boz about it. That's all she knew, she didn't know anything about a cult or what Boz and his friends may have done about it.

She said that she had only dated him for a few months and her parents made her break it off when they found out about it since she was in school and he was 25. This turned out to be a wise move by her parents, not long afterwards Boz did 16 months, or maybe 3 years, in jail for pimping out another girl in Cece's class.

Talking to her I had another "WTF" moment. Somehow a magician attacking me via astral projection or spirit summoning has turned into an old man pimp/murderer maybe looking to kill the other victim of that attack.

I should have expected the magic world to be just as fucked up as the mundane one.

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