Quiznos - Eat Fresh

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Once upon a time they made Omaha the last stop on the transcontinental railroad. That doesn't make sense to me because it's in the middle, not at the end. Maybe last stop means it was like an airport hub. Regardless, it meant that Omaha was a big deal then. It is not a big deal now. Things change.

Railroad baron and secret wizard and maybe still alive guy Raymond Pine built a hotel in Omaha called the Thurston, in honor of a dude who helped him fuck over the Native Americans. Since then the Thurston has housed a medical facility, a morgue, and a psychiatric ward. Now it's a hotel again.

Ghost dorks go there and stay on the 7th and 11th floors so they can excitedly post shaky videos online about experiencing unexplained noises, free roaming vapors, and the feeling of being touched. That last one is just the hotel staff molesting them in their sleep not ghosts.

After I stumbled onto the Finger Lakes Ithaca Mystical Triangle of Magic Mystery, I've been on the look-out for other places of power. As I travel, I stop at any place reputed to be haunted or have strange occurrences or monsters wandering around. Your Bigfeet and chupacabras so on. 99.99% of the time they're bunk. Or not magic at least.

I swung by the Thurston a few months back and I could feel something there. It's the real deal. I need to see if I can find a list of all the buildings Raymond Pine has had built. So far 2 out of 2 are magic siphons. That's 100%. Math.

After I struck-out at the airport, I hit the Thurston and asked for room 712. The internet says that one has the most ghost-touching. It wasn't available, so I had to settle for room 1107. I called RNBPL and told her to meet me there ASAP. She wasn't thrilled about the idea of a 10 hour drive but I was able to convince her. It was a strange reversal to go to bed while someone else was driving hundreds of miles for a change.

No ghosts (or hostel staff) fondled my genitals while I was sleeping. Or if they did they did it so softly that it didn't wake me up. I did have some pretty bizarre dreams. I've never tried DMT or Peyote or toad-licking and I don't think I ever will, but I imagine that the experience was something like that dream state. It was like the Northern Lights were in my brain. And also I was the Northern Light. If anyone reading this has ever been on hallucinogens, I don't need to hear about how wrong that is.

RNBPL turned up around 2 PM looking like the night I met her. I mean she looked like she had just been digging up a grave. I'm not always the freshest on the road, but I make an effort. When I asked her if she wanted to take a shower, she laughed and said that being around the dead all the time makes you forget about things like hygiene. The hotel staff gave me some funny looks when I was checking in, I'm sure they loved her.

When she asked me why she felt like she had a phone on vibrate up her ass, I told her about the natural flow of magic and spots where the energy coalesces. After all the shit she's given me about being a magic moron, it was nice to know something she didn't. She admitted that she thought I was making shit up when I told her about the diner outside of Macon.

When I told her what we were going to do, I got to feel superior again because she had no idea that you could work magic cooperatively. I wanted to give her shit like she is always doing to me, but I didn't.

Because I am a good person.

When I told her to take my hands, she asked if I was going to try and kiss her. "Is this why you brought me here? Is that why you got me out of my clothes and into this hotel robe?"

Hilarious.

I mentioned that I haven't been using my fetch spell much anymore. One reason is because I've been experimenting with it. I've been working on moving it around, controlling it like a puppet. Sort of. It's hard to explain how it works. It's like trying to control a bowling ball with body English.

When I summon my fetch, it's nearby, but there's no reason I couldn't summon it somewhere else. I had never done it before, but I was hoping between the free magic wi-fi of the hotel and with RNBPL helping me, I could summon my fetch somewhere else. I mean somewhere really else. Miami.

I never watch Star Trek, but a surprising number of wrestlers are sci-fi fans. I heard two of them bickering once about Jedi-magic. Based on what they were saying, that Yoda frog was trying to teach the dumb kid that lifting a rock is no different than lifting a spaceship.

The relative weight of the rock and the spaceship only matters in physics. When you're doing something impossible anyway, like magic, it's all the same. You can lift whatever you think you can lift. "You must unlearn what you have learned" is what the one dude said the frog said to the dumb kid. That's a surprisingly relevant piece of advice when it comes to magic.

Summoning my fetch in the hotel room and summoning it 1700 miles away is no different from a magic point of view. It's only different in your mind. Not to turn this into a motivational speech, but as long as you believe in a spell, you can do it. Sort of.

RNBPL and I practiced for a couple hours. I don't know how to explain how hard it was. I guess it doesn't matter. At 4:59 PM, I was able to make my fetch appear on the street outside the Quiznos by the Magic City Casino in Little Havana, Miami, Florida. I told RNBPL to rest up because later that night, it was going to be showtime.

She was looking at me with something like respect and she said "I take it all back what I said before. You have power, Grace."

That was nice to hear.

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