The Shine

If there's a mule in crowd that's a good sign too

I saw Angela Hill at the gym the other day. I recognized her because I saw a tweet from her recently. More surprising is that she recognized me from my bare-knuckle fight. We chatted for a bit. She was complimentary about how tough I was, but I could tell she was trying to figure out how I had done so "well" when it was clear to her that I had no proper training. I forgot to ask why she was in Hattiesburg.

Afterwards I looked her up online. She's unbeaten in kickboxing but 12-9 in MMA. All of her losses have been by decision and most of them have been a split decision. I wonder how that feels, having a mediocre record knowing that no one has really beaten you. I wonder if she has a defensive style that makes it hard to really get to her, but also means she's going to lose on points. If anyone knows anything about MMA and Angela Hill, let me know.

Bumping into her must have been good luck because I picked up a series of bookings. They were mud shows, which demonstrates how low my luck bar is. In case you don't know, a mud show is not mud wrestling. Is mud wrestling even still a thing? What with the free flow of the most ridiculously outlandish porn you can imagine, has mud wrestling gone the way of Playboy? There's so much demented porn freely available that dudes can't even get hard anymore. How can mud wrestling compete with that?

It's difficult to explain exactly what a mud show is because the lines are not clear between a "real" mud show and just a normal shitty booking. If the ring is in the woods, or in a field, and it looks like the roster is made up of people who answered a Craigslist ad, you're at a mud show. You know a mud show when you see it. Like porn.

At one of these shows, a guy came to the ring in full football pads. Another show had a guy had a legit shotgun on his back. One of my "matches" was with a kid that had to be underage in what looked like Spider-Man pajamas. He was a little shit, so I tried to twist his head off. But only a little. Also I may have been frustrated. But you can't take your frustrations out in the ring. That would be wrong.

I hit Huntsville, Mobile, Bainbridge, McDonough, Bradenton, Davie and ended up in Clermont, Florida in the exact same situation as in Hattiesburg, mostly broke with no bookings on the calendar. I keep thinking I should find another way to make money. But that's how I got here in the first place, who's going to pay me to do anything else?

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