The Cult [h.s]

~thirty seven~

"But I'm ready yes I'm ready for you
I'm standing on my own two feet
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
Repeating to the sound of the beat"

~Another One Bites the Dust, Queen

Alena's POV

Harry is not on his side of the bed when I wake up and I panic.

The first thing that comes to my mind is absolutely the worst. I can't help but go directly to the things that have gone wrong or the things that I have done wrong. There can be so many things that could have gone wrong that might have upsetted him.

Does Harry regret last night? Did he just realise in the morning that he made a mistake sleeping with me? Had he not wanted it? Does he hate me now as I am not his type, the model ones with glowing skin and perfect bodies? Did I say something wrong last night or did I do something wrong that hurt him badly?

I want to get my head hit by a brick. How could I possibly think that someone as handsome as Harry would like to do anything with me? Maybe it was just a one time lust and that's it.

Maybe I am one of those one-night stands he was talking about. My heart twists in my chest even at the thought of it. Maybe he didn't like any of it. I guess I did everything wrong and I shouldn't have done anything at all. It was all a mistake.

A possible mistake that he regrets now.

I feel so weird and embarrassed. I shouldn't have done anything last night. Maybe I pressured him? Oh god, I am such a bitch.

I thought I was doing things right. Harry was so responsive last night about everything. What could have gone wrong?

It was most possibly me who did something wrong. First of all, I am inexperienced and usually don't know what I am doing. Second, I mess up everything I do.

But I can't help but think that everything was so spontaneous and perfect last night. Me and him. It was nothing I expected it to be but it was far much better. Higher than I ever imagined.

I should get out of here. Yeah, that's what I should do. Obviously, that is not the best thing to do. That is a coward's move but I feel so super embarrassed that I don't think I can show my face to Harry ever again if he even minutely regrets last night.

I call myself an optimist but my thoughts are so pessimistic.

I sigh and get out of the bed. I look through the large windows opposite to me to only find that the sky is a little foggy. It's really early in the morning it seems and Harry is already gone. I check my phone to verify the time and it is half past six.

I quickly gather up my clothes from last night which are perfectly folded and kept on the chair. Huh, weird. I put on my jeans and quietly tip toe towards the exit. Even if Harry is in this apartment, I don't want him to see me. I quietly open his bedroom door and step out.

The sight in front of me has my jaw on the floor in an instant and every doubt in my mind evaporates into thin air.

I can't look away so I keep staring. I mean, even if I had a choice to look away, I would never choose it.

Harry is doing pushups with one of his hands behind his back. So, like, basically he is balanced on one hand. Every time I think this man couldn't get any hotter, he betrays me.

He is naked waist up and drenched in so much sweat that my mouth falls open and I start drooling at the sight of him. I can't seem to move. I am rooted at my place near the door.