White

My Fault? Really?

Irene POV

While waiting for Greggy to come home, I'm still breaking down. I can't believe that he's really gone. Parang kahapon lang nangangako siyang babalik pa siya pero ngayon, wala na. Wala e, sira ulit yung pangako na yon.

I have no one right now. Tears are endlessly streaming down to my cheeks, When ate Imee called me.

"Hey Irene?" Pagsisimula niya "A-ate" I broke down, again. "Where are you? Your daughter needs you here. We're here at Makati Meds." She informed me, oo nga pala. Nasa peligro din pala ang buhay ng anak ko.. Pano ko ba malalagpasan to?

"Ate, Greggy's g-gone. H-he's gone. He's dead." Hirap kong sabi sa kanya. Hindi ko na kaya, humagulgol na lang ako at hindi na ulit nagsalita. Hindi din makapag salita si ate Imee, I think she's shocked also..

Nasa critical condition din ang anak ko at hindi pa niya alam na wala na ang daddy niya. Tell me, paano namin to malalampasan.

"Si Bong na muna ang bahala sa burol ni Greggy. Ipapaalam ko na din sa pamilya ni Greggy. Just please come here. White is crying, she's awake na pero hindi siya nagsasalita. Daddy lang siya ng daddy" The last sentence broke my already broken heart. He's gone na, anak.

Bago pa man ako nakalabas ng hospital, A police officer approached me.

"Mrs. Araneta, eto po yung mga gamit na nakuha namin galing sa aksidente." He said, I nodded my head at tinanggap ang mga gamit ni Greggy.

"The investigation is going on pa po. I'll inform you and your family kapag may nakuha kaming information about the accident" he said. Hindi ako makapagsalita, sobrang sakit pa din.

"And one more thing, nakita namin sa phone ni sir Greggy na may kausap siya before the accident. Nakalagay po doon is "White" I think she's your daughter po no?" Sabi niya... Kausap niya si White? And yung accident, papunta yon sa school ni White.

Agad akong umalis at pumunta sa Makati Meds. Walang isang oras ang byahe at nakadating agad ako. I rushed inside and I went sa room ni White since ate Imee texted me.

There, I saw White, staring at the ceiling while her tears are falling down. Da, daddy and dada were the only words you can hear from her. She's full of bruises. What happened to her?

I saw also ate Imee beside her bed. Holding her hand while her head is bowed, she's sleeping ata. 

"Nak" I said, her head turned to me, she's looking at me blankly. I can't see anything but sadness and tiredness in her eyes. My tears streamed down once more.

"Iiwan ko muna kayo, pakatatag ka" Manang Imee said in low tone. Pagod na din siya. Lumabas na siya ng room at tumabi na ako kay White.

"Nak, how are you?" I said, my voice cracked. I hate this. She just looked at me directly, did not utter any word.

I held her hand, caressing her face. I tried to hug her but she cried na parang nasasaktan ko siya kaya binitawan ko na lang. I don't really know what happened to her. My mind is full of questions right now. Bakit sunod sunod?

"Love, do you know anything about daddy?" Mahirap itanong sa kanya iyon pero kailangan niyang malaman.

"Daddy? W-where is daddy? I w-want to see daddy" She said, parang bata na hinahanap ang tatay niya. White and Greggy were very close with each other. Parang si Greggy yung nanay sa amin kasi mas kilala niya yung anak ko.

He was there when I wasn't. He was always there when White needs him. But now, He can't make it. Hindi niya magagawang mapuntahan si White physically but I know, his presence is here and it's hugging White and me.

"Look at me, love. I need you to be strong ha, for mama. For dada. We need you to fight, okay?  I love you. No matter what happens, I love you." Sabi ko sa kanya habang hawak hawak ko ang mukha niya. Naguumpisa nanaman ang luha ko. How will I tell her that her father, her best friend, her dada is gone?

She looked at me directly, patiently waiting for my next statement. You can see the sadness in her eyes.

"Anak, si daddy kasi. Wala na si d-daddy anak" sabi ko, breaking down again. I hugged her very tight. Hindi pa siya nag rereact pero bakas sa kanyang mukha ang gulat.

"Do-don't say that! Stop lying ma, masakit po" sabi niya sa akin at lalo akong nababasag sa kanyang mga sinasabi.

"Kung pwedeng lang na hindi na lang 'to totoo lahat, anak" sabi ko, still hugging her.

"Ma! Stop that! You're lying! Daddy's alive diba?! Diba buhay siya?! Ma! Please tell me the truth! I deserve to hear the truth! Ma! Please..." She suddenly burst out. She's hurting me na because of the light punches but tatanggapin ko lahat ng yon mayakap ko lang siya.

"Shhh baby.. dada will get mad pag nakita ka niyang nagkakaganyan anak.. calm down please anak, calm down" sabi ko sa kanya, caressing her back.

"Mommy... Mama... Is he- is he.. I can't! I need him ma. Please tell him to come here. I want to see him... I want to see my dada, ma. Please po do something po ma. I just need to hug him, ma. Please." She said, begging. I don't really know what to do anymore. I can't find a word to comfort her. Sirang sira at durog na durog na din ang puso ko.

I hugged her very tight. Letting her to punch me kung yun ang magpapabawas sa bigat at sakit na nararamdaman niya.

"Mamaya anak. Tayo ang pupunta sa kanya. Pupuntahan natin ang dada mo basta we need you to be strong, to stay strong. We'll go to him, anak... Shhh na.." sambit ko sa kanya. Humiwalay na siya sa yakap..

"Mommy.. susunduin niya dapat ako. I called him. Papunta na siya sa school..  I heard him crying on the phone. Saying goodbye to me... He said I should tell you na he loves you so much, na he's thankful kasi tayo yung naging pamilya niya. Mommy I can't understand him that time.. nagpapaalam na pala siya sana sinabayan ko na. Sana sinabi ko na din yung mga kailangan kong sabihin sa kanya.. Sana hindi na ako nagpasundo.. then I heard something na malakas. Yun na siguro yung accident." Pag kwento ni White. I know anak na mahal na mahal tayo ng daddy mo. Pero nagpasundo??

"Nagpasundo ka?" Tanong ko sa kanya. Tumayo ako at lumayo sa kanya ng kaunti. She's trying to hold my hand pero inalis ko yon sa kanya.

"Nagpasundo ka?!" Pag ulit ko sa tanong ko, hindi niya ako sinasagot. "White, what the heck! May driver ka! May pera ka! Bakit hindi na lang ako yung tinawagan mo! Alam mo naman na may nagbabanta sa buhay natin at sa buhay ng daddy mo. What if pakana nila yon? Ang tanga White! Now, your daddy's gone! My husband's gone!" Sabi ko, sinisigaw ang ilang words at ang ilan naman ay parang nanghihina na ako.

"I can explain ma" sabi niya, I scoffed. "Explain? Wala na ang daddy mo!" Sigaw kong muli. I just can't control myself.

"Kasalanan mo 'to! Huwag na huwag kang magpapakita sa akin! Siguraduhin mong wala ako kung pupunta ka sa burol ng asawa ko!" Muling sambit ko at tuluyan ko ng nilasan ang kwarto. Iniwan ko siya kahit alam kong wasak na wasak na siya. Wasak na wasak na din ako.

"Irene" rinig kong tawag ni ate Imee pero hindi ko na siya nilingon. Tuluyan na akong umalis, umuwi sa bahay.. at doon nagwala.

Why life is so unfair? Bakit hindi pwede na maging masaya na lang lagi? Bakit palaging may bagyo pagkatapos naming maging masaya? Bakit? Bakit....

To be continued..