Chapter 25

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TRIGGERWARNING: BEATINGS, VIOLANCE, BLOOD, BDSM

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"Are you ready to take in the punishment?"

"Yes ma'am, ( I say slowly) I'll pack my bags right away."

She wipes the tears off my cheeks..

"I hate you so much right now. If it were up to me you would be beaten so badly."

"Yes ma'am. I hate me too. And ..

"Hmm?"

"Mistress knows me very well. She knows I could take a 100 days of beating but not this."

She chuckles.. "Yeah it's always Jen that gets us.. We never seem to get her though. I'm just sorry that it's always her that's making all of the sacrifices."

Her words stayed with me.

She was right. Miss always made sacrifices. Above all, she never could really be herself. She had a very sadistic side to her. Once many years ago she let go of herself during one of our sessions... Her sadistic side is extreme. It was painful, I admit. I was pretty new back then just about a year with her and she did not warn me. I had to use my safe word and she got so scared that she hurt me.. After that she has never let go of herself. I always felt bad. That every time we played.. She had to control herself even in the safest of places.

Once or twice I tried to convince her to be free.. But she is just scared of hurting me. And look at me. Not thinking once before hurting her, disappointing her and ruining her career. Lee hurt her when they were in a relationship. He cheated on her... and she took him back. I hurt her so bad this time. Even then she took it all from her boss. Not getting the promotion she ever wanted can be her trigger.

I just wish I could do something for her before I go, apologize, thank her for making me her slave.. But I can't. I know she doesn't want to see me. And it's probably for the best. I will hurt her more. Disappoint her more. A pathetic dog like me deserves to be kicked out and thrown into the street.

I get up and go upstairs. After making sure that Miss was still in her room I went to my room. As I closed the door of my room my tears returned.

I can't make them stop.

Still crying pretty heavily, I try to pack my bags. The tears cloud my sight but I don't care. I just pack anything which comes to my hand. I just can't.. I can't leave her again. I will not be able to stay alive.

Jenna's pov:

I'm filled with rage... It's been a long time since I felt this angry. How could he? I stormed off in my room. I don't want to think about it. I can't believe it. After everything.. I am still stuck at the same level. And plus I have to make up for all the business I lost when that Idiot came over drunk in front of my boss.

I kick my bed.. throw off my chair. I'm filled with rage. so much rage and hate. I can't see, I can't think. My blood is boiling, my hands are sweaty. 

I get out of the room and  I hear someone crying... and that's just it. I lost it.

THAT IDIOT IS CRYING...what is that going to do?! Help me bring back my respect in the firm? my business.. my position as the senior partner?

I speed walk my way across the hall to his room. There he is, pathetic little idiot sobbing over a bag he was packing. At least something good is going on here. He notices me. Standing in the door frame and sits up properly.

I don't know if it's the fact that he disappointed me or that I am so angry about the passed promotion.. But I grabbed his hair. And drag him out. He is quiet..just goes along with it. I purposefully bump him in multiple places. Take him up to the playroom. It's not a playroom for him anymore.. He's going to get the punishment of his lifetime.

Once we get in I throw him on the ground. He stumbles down. .. i don't give a second look and walk straight to the bar of whips.

"Strip"

I say as I look through multiple whips I have. Some for pleasure, some for pain.

'Ohh I'm going to enjoy this.'

I pull up the drawer and take out the custom made. It had pointy diamonds embedded in leather to magnify the pain.

As I take the whip in my hand my hand starts shaking. I'm so angry and the grip just fuels it.

I walk towards that dog. On my way I grabbed a cockcage and threw it on his face. Getting my cue he wears it pretty quickly.

"Legs apart, hands on your neck."

I don't wait.. I can't wait.

*smack* on his ass. Ahh that first blow feels nice.

*smack* *smack*

Ohhohhh its just ecstasy. I missed this.. The control.. The power. I used to have it in my job, where now i have no respect left. It has been a very long time since i experienced it here. I don't care about his bastard anymore. I'm not going to hold back.

*SMACK* on his ass 

*Smack * on his back 

*Smack *... *Smack *...*Smack *...*Smack *...*Smack *...

I don't know how many times I hit him. It feels good. It feels amazing. I feel safe. But the anger is still there. In the middle I just close my eyes and whip randomly.

The sound of the whip taking its own sweet time. The fling... the whip cutting the air. Then landing on the soft skin with a sting. Leaving a fresh red mark every time.

Who wouldn't want that. *Smack *...*Smack *...

He is completely still. Not a sound, not an inch's movement. this is what i expect and deserve. 

When I closed my eyes I began to feel a little relaxed. But when I opened and saw his stupid stupid face. All the anger comes back .

I don't even know how many minutes have gone by but when  I see his entire body covered in marks...MY MARKS, I smirk.

But my anger is still there tough. I go over to a drawer and take out the heaviest nipple clamps I had. I clamp his red nipples hard. They had metal balls on the chain. Which initially took him off balance but he caught himself in time.

I started noticing the scars.. smothering them.. Taking it in, all the scars, all my markings.. I started to feel satisfied.

I see blood dripping from his thighs,  and on his shoulders. His back is complete red and purple. blood dripping from various cuts. I touch the scars.. Smell the blood. it smells good. 

It smells safe, smells comforting , that everything will be alright. 

Move my fingers onto the really red scars. I am Completely engaged in them. dig my nails a little deeper. I scan my canvas with my fingers...as I reach his neck I dig my nail into a bleeder. He flinches.

HOW DARE HE..

*smack* I slapped his face. Oh, it gave me such a thrill.

So I do it again.

And again

And again.. Until both his cheeks are completely red.

That's when I talked to him for the first time.

"I am so disappointed."

And hopefully the last.

Because if he is really going to disappoint me again.. I'd rather not have him here.

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