Bitter, sweet, lust || NCT FF

Chapter 41

I have to talk to Jaemin. I have to.

I know yesterday I saw him, and felt anxious, But talking to Min I felt better. I went back to the room but he wasn't there anymore. But surprisingly we met at Sunlight's Tomb.

I though we could have a proper conversation, But no, And I know I was the one to be blamed.

I blamed him for everything and left him all torn into pieces.

I went to school early. I took a peek at his classroom and he was there. With his head on his desk. I cleared my throat and slowly walked towards him. He glanced at me before Going back to sleep

I sighed and Was about to go but he spoke making me stop

Jaemin: You can stay, I won't say anything

When he said it, I grinned. I approached him and sat down next to him gradually.

I didn't want to make some noise because I assume it could bother or disturb him.

Since I'm the one bugging him and disrupting his spare time, it would be rude of me to create noise. He may just kick me out of this room.

But then again its too quiet. No one is here aside from me and Jaemin.

Jaemin: About what I said. Im sorry If I was a bit Harsh.

Was he pertaining about what he said last night?

Jaemin: Im sorry if I was a bit rude. I wasn't in the right mind. Sorry

Is he being serious?

Hae: its okay
Jaemin: How are you?

He sat up and Leaned back on his chair and Gazed at me. I suddenly felt nervous because of his stares. I looked away and Played with my Finger.

Hae: Im Uh okay
Jaemin: Im glad. Im happy that you found your soulmate.

I tapped my food and just nod. I didn't stare at him. I feel nervous now he brought that soulmate talk.

Jaemin: Is he Kind to you?

I didn't answer and continue biting my lower lip while playing with my finger and Tapping my foot on the floor.

Jaemin: I hope he does. You deserve better.

I stopped at My stupid habit and Stared at Him. He gave me a small smile before standing him. He was going to leave but He suddenly stopped

Jaemin: I hope you both are going to be happy and move away. Away from here.

I watch him walk away. I felt a pain on my chest as his words played repeatedly in my head.

I dont know what to say. I dont know what to think. I dont know what to do. He hates me

My heart aches. But I deserve this. I hated him so much that I hurt him way too much. I deserve this, I was blinded of my hatred in the world when Sunlight Was gone, I was looking for someone to blame and he was there. I blamed him for something I should be blamed of.

He never ruin me. He never ruin my life. He never makes me think I want to follow sunlight whenever I see his face.

Those were lies. My mind was talking, Not my heart. If it were my heart, He would be never in pain all alone.

But that isn't an excuse. I was too much. I hurt him.

I deserve all the cold shoulders he gives me. I deserve it.