Chapter 19: Guilty.

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Luna had been staring at her cup of tea for what felt like hours. In reality it had only been minutes since she'd sat at her kitchen island, but it felt like it was taking forever for 10am to finally come. That was the time Matt said he would be there and she was fucking dreading it.

She still had absolutely no idea what she was gonna say to him. She'd never been any good with words or confrontation so this was like her worst nightmare. At least when it came to coming clean about her and Chris, he was gonna be there with her, having him by her side made her more at ease.

A knock at the front door and Rex barking snapped her out of her thoughts of Chris. Quickly she got up from the counter, heading to the front door. As she got there she saw Matt in the entry way, bent down fussing Rex.

"Hey buddy, yeah I missed you too," he chuckled as Rex attacked his face with kisses. He looked up when he felt Luna's presence; he locked eyes with her as she leant against the doorway. "There's my girl" He beamed as he made his way over, embracing her in a tight hug.

Luna internally cringed at his words, the same woods that used to make her swoon for the man in front of her, now they just reminded her of the deep pit of guilt inside of her.

"Hey how was your trip?" She asked pulling away from the hug, attempting to put some distance between them, is it weird that she feels bad for Chris being this close to Matt? Yeah that is fucking weird, she thought to herself.

"It was good" Matt spoke as he guided them into the living room to sit on the couch. "Yeah it was really productive but I'm so glad to be back, I missed you" he beamed at her and Luna felt like she was dying on the inside.

"Me too" She smiled lightly as he moved closer to her, taking her hands in his. She had to do it now, she couldn't let this go on any longer it wasn't fair, "actually Matt I really need to talk to you about something."

"No problem, actually I had something I needed to tell you too."

"Okay, you go first" She spoke letting him talk first, she felt like she owed him that.

"So while I was away I was thinking a lot about us and I know things have been a little weird between us recently and I think that's my fault."

Luna was shocked, how could he think that any of that was his fault. She knew exactly why things had been weird lately and it was all down to her falling in love with his best friend. "What do you mean?"

"I know I probably haven't been as attentive and present as I could have been and I'm so sorry about that Luna I never once wanted to make you feel like that, I know I've been busy with work but I swear things are gonna change, because this me and you, this is what I want Luna." He spoke as he squeezed her hands tightly in his.

Luna just stared at him wide eyed, she had no words, no idea what to say. How Matt could ever think he'd been anything less than the perfect boyfriend was beyond her. He was incredibly attentive, always listening to her, agreeing with her even when she was being ridiculous and he always sacrificed other things just for her.

As she stared in to his eyes she realised what a bitch she really was. Here was this by all accounts perfect man who because of her shitty behaviour thinks he hasn't been good enough and she'd done the worst thing a person could do to their partner and let his best friend eat her pussy like a man starved. God she was a terrible fucking person.

Now as Matt looked at her with a huge hopeful smile on his face she was conflicted. How could she break his heart, how could she ever live with herself after that. But then there's Chris, she loved him more than she'd ever loved anyone, but was their relationship just doomed to fail, turn in to yet another disaster in her life? She was pulled from her thoughts as Matt spoke again,

"I also realised something else and that's what I wanted to tell you."

Oh god.

"I love you Luna."

~~~~~

Later on Chris was at home pacing his kitchen for what felt like the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes. It was now gone 1pm and he'd heard nothing from Luna, not a peep. He knew Matt was getting back at 10am and it was now three hours later and there was still no sign of her. He'd expected at least a text or something, but he'd had absolutely nothing.

As he watched the clock continue to tick by and still no sign of her, he started to get worried. What if Matt had managed to persuade her to stay with him, what if she had realised it was Matt she was actually in love with, what if he'd lost her before he'd ever even had her?

He pulled out his phone as he leant on his elbows on the cold counter top, still seeing no notifications. He opened up his phone and clicked on his photos, going straight to the drunk selfies they'd taken together the other night. The first they were laid in Luna's bed, her head on his chest and his arm wrapped around her as they both smiled at the camera, Rex tucked between them. In the second Rex had started to lick Chris's chin, resulting in them both erupting in fits of giggles which showed in the next few photos. The last being them staring lovingly at each other. He smiled knowing after he'd put down the phone she'd kissed him lightly before telling him how she'd never been happier than in that moment.

He sighed deeply at the memory; the worry was now consuming him. He was getting desperate, he had to know what was going on and he had to know now. Quickly he made his way to the door slipping on his shoes before noticing it was raining out and quickly shrugging on a jacket. He grabbed his keys and opened the front door, prepared to make a run for it to his car. As he turned around he was shocked at what he saw.

There was her car parked on the drive way and she was running up to the porch steps. She stopped abruptly as she saw him in front of the door. They just stared at one another as the rain continued to pour around them.

"Oh thank god, I was just coming to look for you" He beamed as he moved down the steps to stand in front of her, "I thought you weren't coming."

"I'm sorry it took longer than I thought and it was really fucking hard but I did it" she smiled brightly, not caring in the slightest about the rain soaking the pair of them, "There was no way I'd miss this Chris, just you and me remember?"

He didn't waste anymore time, quickly pulling her in to his arms and crashing his lip against hers. The kiss was soft and filled with passion, like they were both trying to pour out all the love they felt in to that one kiss. It was the most beautiful feeling either of them had ever had.

Chris pulled apart from her first, resting his forehead against hers as he held her close, "just you and me baby."

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