Us. Always.|karlnapity|trans quackity au

Chapter 36: hiraeth

tw:

- third person pov, unknown (somewhat of a chapter prologue?) -

Hiraeth is a strange, beautiful feeling.

"Hiraeth (pronounced: he-ryeth)

Noun: the Cymry word for the longing for a home that is in the past, fictional, never was or is otherwise unattainable.

Adjective: often used by the Cymry to describe the beauty and magic of their country, Cymru.

Synonyms: none. No single English word describes hiraeth in its entirety.

Cymru (pronounced come-ri)

(a/n: if anyone makes a joke about the pronunciation of my country you're muted. Please don't be an asshole./srs)

Noun: Wales. Often used by the Cymry as an alternative to "Wales", even when speaking English. Descended from the Brythonic word combrogi, meaning "fellow-countrymen".

Synonyms: Wales

Homophones: Cymry (anything that is Welsh, or the Welsh people themselves. The Welsh language is Cymraeg.)"

- Karl pov, unknown -

Colours swirl and fade, scenes form and dissolve.

Where am I?

'You're home', something within me says.

How can this be home? It's a mess.

'Wait', it says. 'watch.'

Who are you?

'I'm you. You're me.'

That can't be right, I'M me.

'Yep. I'M you, too. You would call me your subconscious.'

Okay, "subconscious", where am I?

'Home.'

No, I'm not.

 'Where IS home then?'

My childhood house.

'Sure?' 

Sure as the stream that powers the water wheel.

(The house appears from the mess, with its thatch roof and whitewashed walls that were being overtaken by my mom's art, and its little stream I used to play in and its flower garden where the little bees lived their little lives.)

Where's the water wheel?

'There is no water wheel.'

Yes there is. The wooden one that powers the house that constantly had at least one missing chunk.

'No there isn't. We never knew what powered the house, but there WAS a stream. So I made the water wheel up so there was something there.' 

But my memories of it are so specific. (How is the longing still here? This is home.)

'Do you really think our distant childhood memories from 10 years ago would have been that accurate?'

Yes.

'Then you're an idiot.'

I don't know what to say.

'Does this feel like home to you?'

No.

Take me home.

(The chaos returns.)

This isn't home.

'I told you to watch, didn't I? I can grab memories easily, but forming an actual home out of our longing isn't so simple. Bear with me.'

(So I wait.)

(First to shape itself is me. Us, I guess. I'm in my signature hoodie and an apron, dirt on my face, purple gloves on my hands, tending to something.)

(Next are the flowers I'm tending to. Blue roses, fire lilies and- if I'm right-)

Dandlions! We love dandelions!

'Yep.'

(A stone path forms, grass around it. A beautiful house paints itself into existence, with stained glass windows and whitewashed walls [that, similarly to my childhood home, are covered in art- Sapnap's this time.] and a beautiful purple tile roof. There's a swing hanging from a tree, and Quackity sits on it pushing himself that LITLLE bit higher by fluttering his wings. The tree also has a treehouse in it. Sapnap is exercising on the patio, leaving slight char marks on the concrete slabs, and a bee box filled with honeycomb sits to the side of the house.) 

(Rolling hills of emerald grass fade into blue mountains that I just know are of Preseli stone. Forests dot the hillside, and the only sign of humanity is a faint village in the background. It feels like Pharae Himself could just walk past on a pleasant stroll.)

(It's vibrant, it's full of life, it's -)

'welcome home.' 

My heart hurts knowing it's never meant to be.

'Who said it isn't?'

You see, subconscious, this is why people don't understand you.

'What do you mean?'

It isn't meant to be because we own a house, it's not that one, and that's not even started on the problems.

'Get a new house.'

Like I said, there are too many problems.

'What problems?'

616 words without ending a/n!

a/n: sneaking my culture into my book?

NOOOOOO!

seriously though.

English needs to get on our level and recognise hiraeth as an emotion and make a word for it

Diolch yn fawr, dwi'n caru chi. <3/p

(Thank you so much, I love you guys <3/p)

- Error