mayas sister

what i wanted all along

Well the last few days have been awful I want to tell carina and Andy but Andy is avoiding me now, of course I messed everything up I always do. The gym has become my space where I can be my self God its like I'm living with my dad again, I'm not but it feels like it I'm alway training, except when I'm on call or asleep, the only good this is that Matthew and Robbin enjoy school.
I'm now on Mile 10 on the treadmill when Andy walks in, odd she is usually avoiding me now.
"Hi," I mumble.
"Hey," she responds.well that was the most she has said to me in the past 3 days,"you ok," she Questions.
"Hmm," I say still running and I'm now nearly at 11 miles.
"I said, are you ok," she says coming up to the side of the treadmill," I mean you In here most of shift, except when we get called out, or when maya comes to make you food,"
"I'm okay, just alot going on," I mumble as she click the speed on the treadmill down to 0, as I come to a stop I let myself sit down on the end for the first time since I got here.
"Maddy, you can tell me these things, what going on," she asks putting an arm around me.
"No I can't tell you these things Andy, I can't not any more," I say brushing her off believe me when I say she would be better off not knowing me. I leave her alone in the gym going to the Beanery.
" look who's finally left the gym," Travis says causing me to give him a glare.
"Montgomery, enough desk duty," maya says walking into the room god I love having her as the captain, well sometimes.
"Bishop, my office," sullivan yells.
"Which one," we both say.
" maddy," he yells yet again.
"Crap," I mumble walking towards him. I get in his office he shuts the door and guess who's in there, Andy, of course.
" I'll leave you two to talk," he mutter closing the door behind him.
"Maddy," she goes to continue but I cut her off.
"No, Andy you can't expect me to tell you everything anymore, we don't live together you avoid me here, what do you want me to tell you, because whatever it is you need to figure it out," I say trying to stay calm.
"I know you had a phone call with you therapist, and I know you were put on some medication, what medication were they and what are they for," she question.
" A, I don't know how you know that, and B, I don't need to tell you, its not your business, Andy, you weren't there when I needed you, you disappeared, It hurts me to be around someday it's ok but others it makes me want to die, this is an apology and a confession, I apologise for the other day when I was saying none of thoes photos mean anything to me, they all mean something, but it just reminds me of what I can't have," I sigh.
" and what would that be," she asks holding my hand.
"You," I wisper into her ear  before leaving.

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"What did sullivan want then," maya ask as we walk into her office.
"To get me and Andy to talk, we did but It definitely didn't help me, just made me feel worse, so I'm going to go run on the treadmill, I'll see you later," I say going to run.

The rest of shift was quite Andy avoided me which was expected, well she avoided me until the end,"come with me," she says.
"Why," I ask slightly Suprised.
"We are going out, your going to vent to me and I'm going to vent to you," she says god I'm not going to enjoy this.
"Fine, but no question about therapy," I say getting in her car.
"You asked earlier what was my medication for, I got diagnosed with bipolar, I'm fine but it's just a bit of a bummer," I say not enjoying the silence in the vehicle.
" you said no therapy," she says smiling and slowly moving her hand to my thigh.
"Sorry," I mutter keeping my breath regular.
"No, don't worry about it, how are the twinoins doing at school," she asks as we pull up to a movie theatre.
"There doing good I have to go talk to the school though about robbin, not sure why but you can come if you would like you don't have to but I thought you might enjoy it," I say really quickly.
" maddy, baby your rambling, I would love to come with you," she says as we purchase out tickets to maverick top gun.
"Ok I'm glad," I say trying to cover up the very obvious blush from when she called me baby. The film starts and I rest my head on her shoulder, relaxing around her for the first time in what feels like forever.

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The film was really good, although some of it is untrue, I would watch it again," want to head over to Jo's," she asks.
"Definitely," I mumble trying to stay awake in the passenger seat. We arrive at Jo's I'm pretty sure I fell asleep.
"Maddy, long time no see," Jo says as we walk through the door.
"Yep, 2 beers please Jo," i say handing him some money.
We find a table in the corner where there is less people but enough so we can avoid ones we know.
"Your right about what you said in sullivans office, but your also wrong," Andy says
"What am I wrong about," I say smiling.
"Well, I do like the fact everything means something to you, but I wish you had told me your feelings sooner, and I would have probably returned thoes feelings, but it's to late now, I can't turn back the clock, I can't end it, I'm engaged and that would be cruel to sullivan, but I know this is cruel to you as well and I am truly sorry," she says looking me in the eye, I don't know what made me do it but in that moment I thought it was a good Idea to kiss her,well that kiss turned into a full make out session, finally I got what I have been waiting for.
"Andy," someone says causing us to break apart.