Lluvia ¦ 이희승 ⋆

39 ; i'm here

song of the chapter :
Western Sky
Lee Seung Chul
↻◁ II ▷ ↺

[ this is a very old song but the meaning omg ㅠㅠ.... anyway, happy reading! hope you enjoy this ^^]
-ajeuwa

-The next three days

Heeseung walked towards Haesoo's grave slowly while bringing a bouquet of flower with him. He looked around the surrounding, couldn't believe he came here to visit someone other than her mom. The most hurting fact is both of them meant the world to him. He walked to the right way like how Haesoo's mom told him before, and he found it.

He stood beside the grave for quiet a while without saying anything. And suddenly, his tears escape. He sat down and placed the flower bouquet on it.

"Hi, my love" Heeseung smiled.
"Do I still deserve to call you by that name?"
"After everything I did to you?"
"I'm still going to call you that anyway." He chuckled sadly.

"Love, how are you doing at your new place? Is it nice? How's the view there?"
"I'm sorry for being late to visit you"
"I am really a bad person right?"
"You know what, since you left, it's rarely raining here."
"What should I do now?"
"The only thing that will make me feel close to you is rain. But it hasn't fallen for quiet some time."

"Love, why does our story ended up like this? Why does it end up with you leaving me?"
"I asked a stupid question right?"
"Love, I'm so sorry for everything I did."
"I'm sorry for making the most beautiful days of your life the saddest."
"I'm sorry for making you feel stupid for trusting me."
"Yes, I was assuming you as a betting material at the first place and I loved you fakely. I forcely give you affection and the sweet calming words in order to fulfill my task. But then, I suddenly fall in love with you for real. I even fall harder and started to feel like you're the one for me."
"And when I realised that, I feel myself so dumb."

"And now that you already left, I can't do anything anymore."
"I can't be able to hear your voice again."
"I can't be able to feel your warm and soft touch."
"I can't be able to tease you."
"I can't be able to see you running in the rain."
"Now on every rainy day, I always be outside my house, waiting for you."
"But you are no longer by my side."
"I just rely on my imagination."
"For seeing you infront of me, and I recreate our beautiful moments."
"Sadly, I can't touch you."
"But I'm happy that I can still see you."
"Because once I couldn't remember your face, that scared me even more."

Heeseung sniffed,
"Love, do you remember the time when you came to my house bringing a breakfast for me?"
"That day, you happily went out from your car and approached me. I felt so annoyed when I see your face."
"You pulled me to enter the house"
"You made me eat my breakfast after so long."
"You waited for me until I finished the meal."
"After that you managed to make me eat the medicine which I hate the most."
"You prepared everything for me"
"And that's how I fell in love with you."

"I still remember the time when I was missing you immaturely. I felt so blank and aimless."
"And so you came, accompanied me who acted like a little boy craved for her mom's attention."
"I really don't deserve you, Haesoo."
"For who you are, for how you treated me and how you hide your pain away from me in order to tell me that you're okay."
"You're so good in that and I'm too dumb that I trusted it."

Heeseung let out a deep breath,
"Except for your mom, everyone seems to hate me now."
"Even Mrs.Nam, she didn't even want to talk with me when I went to your house just now."
"And I know who are hating me the most."
"Your friends."
"I can guess it."
"The day after your incident, I just came back from the hospital."
"Then, Nari came to my house and blame me for everything. But I just kept quiet because I know it's my fault and I deserve it if she wanted to kill me."

"Love,"
"I don't really remember how I spend my days after you were gone."
"I can't keep focusing on everything I did."
"I feel so aimless."
"Every morning I wake up, I don't feel excited anymore. Instead, I wish I could continue to sleep so we could meet."
"I miss you so much that I can still see you put your head on my bed when you were taking care of me."
"You know who miss you other than me?"
"Gyuri"
"She keeps sitting on your spot at the sofa."
"When I was opening the first and last birthday present you gave, Gyuri came out from the bedroom and keep smelling it."
"Yes, she smelled you."
"She knows how exactly her mom smells like."
Heeseung chuckled, "Cute isn't it?"
"I think if she could talk, she will say that she wants you everyday."
"There's still so much of you."

"I'm so coward, Haesoo."
"I should've come to your funeral but I was so scared that everyone may attack me for what I did even though I know they should."
"But I'm too coward."
"If I could push away my cowardness, I'm sure I could keep you. I'm sure you will still be right by my side now."
"But I couldn't"
"Because I'm too coward to push away the cowardness itself."

"I really want to turn back time."
"So I can fall in love with you nicely."
"And so we could continue our love story."

"Love, thank you for making my life full of colour."
"Thank you for liking me."
"Thank you for always be with me."
"Our story lasted for two months, but I appreciate those days,"
"I appreciate the short moment with you"
"Because the short moment with you was the only moment when I could be completely myself."

Heeseung wiped his tears and let out a deep breath.
"Love, I need to go now."
"There are still so many things to say but the time doesn't let me to do so."
"I will come here again soon."
"I love you, Yoon Haesoo."