The Trash Man Can

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I drive to the grocery store in a frightening silence

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I drive to the grocery store in a frightening silence. I drove to the store by memory not even using my eyes. Kendra said I was getting a cut but my rent? My car? This money? Did everybody get this much ?

I take my time grocery shopping and spent almost a hour inside. I load up my car and drive to Ms.B's house. Now me and Ms.B came into each other's lives when I was 18 years old and just lost my parents. She had just lost her son. I helped her take her groceries home one day and she became a parental figure ever since. I called her ahead of time to let her know I was on my way.

I knock on the door & wait. I already can hear Ms.B gushing through the door before she opens it. She swings the door open and gives me a long warm hug. I laugh and hug her back.

Ms.B: I knew you'd be okay! I wasn't worried at all!

I shake my head and laugh at her.

I pick up the groceries I got for her and walk in. She gets me a glass of wine and we begin to chit chat.

Ms.B: you don't look like a woman that's been kidnapped for a month ?

I laugh nervously.

Ms.B: so (she clears her throat)

I roll my eyes already knowing what she's about to say.

Ms.B: was that no good ass J-Woo there for you?

I sigh.

Jace: Ms.B please.

Ms.B: oh I'm sorry, Jason. You need to drop him fast. Nothing good comes from fucking a thug....trust me. You gon end up with a wet ass & empty bank account.

Jace: you speaking from experience? (I laugh)

She stares at me unamused.

Ms.B: I'm serious. Nothing good will come from dating a gangsta. What does he give you besides dick?

I sat in silence because...she was right. All me and Jason had a history. Yea a couple dates to Chili's or red lobster. I wouldn't say we are a happy couple. We aren't even together we just...have a understanding?

Ms.B: Don't get pregnant...You don't know what he been doing the past month you been gone.

I begin to look at her & begin to think.

Ms.B: you're still young but you're not getting any younger. You're beautiful you should be dating business men & CEOS. Don't think because you grew up in the hood & see everybody else settling for struggle love means you have to.

Jace: you're right Ms.B.

Ms.B: I'm not tryna tell you what to do and maybe I am trying to live through you. But I wouldn't say nothing to you if I didn't care. You gotta let this life go.

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