Chapter 33

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Chapter Thirty-Three

War.

War is never an easy pill to swallow.

Briar knew this. She'd been apart of Order-66. She'd seen the destruction first hand. It's a game of chess she hadn't wanted to play again.

She had been a Stormtrooper during that assault, terrified she'd die at any moment. The soldiers in her unit, none of them understood the mechanics of a lightsaber or how to defend themselves against one. They'd only been told to point and shoot, hoping for the best.

Briar had stuck with her unit. Somehow, most of them managed to stay alive. Other units weren't so lucky. She had refused to think back on that - the screams she heard, the burned and mangled trooper armor. Ungloved hands reaching up, their helmets cracked and broken as they begged for her to use her only med-pack on them. She had been selfish.

Thinking back on it all, she didn't want any of it. Except for Trilla - she'd always want Trilla. And I guess Alexis. Alexis would surely beat my ass putting her second to Trilla. But, deep in the back of her mind, Alexis probably knew the truth anyway. If Alexis broke her heart, she'd recover. If Trilla broke her heart, there wouldn't be a heart left.

*****

It was two in the morning but Briar wasn't able to feign sleep any longer. She'd lain awake for hours staring up at the ceiling, hoping time would just stop. She didn't want to carry out this attack. Not because she no longer believed in the Empire, but because this could very well be her last day. Or Trilla's. And they'd spend it on different planets knee deep in their own shit.

Hours from now, Briar would be the cause of death and destruction that she willingly formulated and oversaw to completion. Whether that completion is the end of the war, or her death. At the age of 27 she'd die as Briar Suduri: Chief of War, a powerhouse of a woman, a failure. Even though she came into the role later in the state of the war, the entirety of it's ugly head had fallen onto her shoulders with something such as small as a change in career title. She was now the sole face of the war for the Empire, and she was terrified.

She couldn't remain dormant.

She was like a caged animal. Or a loose canon. She was Iden Versio - Commander of the Inferno Squad.

Briar willed herself to move, to stop the unpleasant thoughts that continued to fill her brain to the brim. Padding down the stairs quietly, she directed her steps towards the kitchen. Skipping turning on the light, she leaned against the counter as she boiled the water. Vormur flower pedals were placed in the bottom of her cup, brushing her fingers over the dried and cracked pedals she'd begged Trilla to get her.

As the tea steeped, she closed her eyes to picture the last time she'd been this afraid of combat while with Iden.

Briar paced the room, her thigh armor kept making an awful clacking sound but she couldn't bring herself to stop. It was a simple task her Death Troopers Unit had to accomplish: Assassinate a sitting member of the counsel. They would storm the house, he wouldn't know what hit him. But there were children, he had four. They'd gotten clearance to kill everyone. Everyone in the house. The dog, mother, kids. All would be eliminated.

"Briar, stop pacing for five seconds. Slow your breathing." Iden commanded from the kitchen counter. She had been sitting on top of it, glaring at her lover for her ridiculous emotions. Briar felt childish. She'd killed people before, even children. But this mission in particular had bothered her to no end.

Briar stopped her erratic movements to address the commander. "Iden, I feel like I'm going to melt out of this uniform. Those kids-"

"Those ENEMIES are stopping you from ranking up within your unit!" Iden fired back. She slipped from the counter, storming across the room to stand in front of Briar. Iden had flames in her eyes, her fists clenched as her breathing picked up. She was looking at Briar like she was a mere infantry trooper that had given her orders.

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