I'd Rather Die Than Be in Love

Undercover Lover

I glanced out at my town one more time, I was leaving today, leaving for good. As we drove past all the houses and all the shops that had become so familiar to me, it finally hit me that I'd probably never see any of them again, not for a long time at least. The park where I'd had my first kiss, my old school and my best friend's house. My stomach lurched at the thought of any of this.

None of us particularly wanted to leave, my older brother Luke was leaving his girlfriend behind and hadn't stopped sulking from the minute my Father made the announcement. Luke was pretty popular at school, the stereotypical football playing popular teenager. With the pretty girlfriend and endless lists of friends, but at the same time, he actually had a brain in his head. My younger brother Corey probably took it the best out of all of us. And as for my Mom, she hadn't said a word about it, but I could tell she didn't want to leave.

We were leaving Philadelphia because my Father had been laid off his job here, but in the space of a week had been offered another job that was ten times better. The catch? It was in San Diego, miles away from every thing I had known for my entire life. Away from my friends, my family and my home. I had two best friends, Lucia and Jack - the best friends any sixteen year old girl could ask for.

~

"Do you really have to go?" My friend Lucia asked sniffling.

She was the most emotional between the three of us.

"Yeah I'm sorry" I said, biting my tongue to hold back my tears.

The two of us stood there, in a hug not wanting to let go of each other.

"We'll keep in touch all the time, that's a promise" Jack said, throwing his arms around the two of us.

I nodded my head, "And I'll visit up here and you two can come up to San Diego"

The tears were falling down my cheeks now.

~

My eyes welled up at the thought of it, I didn't know how I was going to cope without the two of them.

As we passed the sign that said "Welcome to Youngsville" I mentally said good bye to the small town I grew up in.

~

"Holly wake up" I woke up to my younger brother shaking me.

"What?" I grumbled from underneath my duvet.

"C'mon it's time for school" He said, throwing the duvet off me.

I watched Corey leave and I lifted myself, half heartedly out of bed.

It was my first day of school, the first of many days of me being alone. I wasn't really popular in my old school and I wasn't expecting much different here.

I straightened my fringe, the only part of my hair that isn't naturally straight. I watched as the dark brown hair that made up my fringe quickly became smooth and shiny. As I jumped into a pair of grey skinny jeans and threw on the first shirt I could find, I heard Luke shouting for me down the stairs, threatening to leave without me if I didn't hurry up.

~

As Luke drove into the school's parking lot, I spotted lots of different cliques sitting together. The small bit of hope I had of actually finding friends in this school had vanished. I walked through the front doors of the school and prepared myself for my junior year, alone.

My brothers and I picked up our timetables and headed different directions. As the bell rang I made my way to class, trying my best to look as confident as I could, despite feeling the opposite inside. Much to my dismay, getting lost in the jumble of different doorways and corridors, and the traffic jam of students didn't help much.

"Screw this" I muttered under my breath.

I wandered out some door, that led to what I assumed where the school's sports pitches. I slumped down on the ground, using the wall to hold myself up. As I felt myself panic I searched through my bag for the one thing that would calm me down. My hand found a small box at the bottom of my bag, my pack of cigarettes. I lit one up with the lighter I had in my pocket and took a long drag. I felt a pang of guilt as I did so, as I remembered promising Jack I would quit once I got to San Diego.

I closed my eyes for a few minutes and forgot about everything around me, if I pretended hard enough, I could maybe make myself believe I was still in Philadelphia.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" A voice behind me said.