I'd Rather Die Than Be in Love

Do it Now, Remember it Later

"Oh shit, what?" Mike asked.

My head was spinning, I could barely speak.

"Oh I just forgot I had homework for tomorrow" I choked out.

"Since when did you care about homework?" Mike asked.

"It's just a really big part of my grade" I told him, lying straight to his face.

"I guess I'll go then, I'm pretty sure Vic said he would give me another driving lesson tonight so" he said, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

I watched him leave my bedroom, I felt myself begin to properly panic.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit" I kept muttering to myself.

I kept staring at my calendar, just trying to find a way out of this. But no matter how hard or long I looked, there was just no way. But I had to confirm it, maybe I was worrying over nothing.

I couldn't be...pregnant at sixteen.

The only way to be sure was to do a test, I pulled on a pair of shoes and headed for the front door.

"Where are you going?" Corey asked.

"Oh just to the shop, I really want some ice cream" I said, telling him the first excuse to come into my head.

"Oh can I come? I want some too" he asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Um no, I'll just get you some" I told him.

"Don't forget about me" Luke shouted from the kitchen.

I sighed, feeling like I was under interrogation. As I reached my car, I took a sigh of relief, but that was just the easiest part. I felt sick, my head pounding as I went around every curve. What if I really was? I couldn't take care of another person? And what would Mike think, would he get annoyed, would he get as far away from me as possible? And my Dad, I didn't even want to think about my Dad.

Why do you have to be such a screw up Holly?

Parking my car outside the store, my heart pounded. The cashier inside was middle aged, I knew she'd judge me instantly when she saw me buy this. But I had to know, I walked in, trying not to act suspicious. I headed straight for the shelf, grabbing three - just to be sure. I remembered I had to get ice cream as well, I lugged three cartons up to the till.

"That's 15:30, please" the woman said.

I handed her my money and took the bag, terrified of what came next.

~

I pulled up outside my house, I spotted Mike and Vic just leaving their house. I really couldn't be seen right now, I walked as quickly as I could back into my house - hoping they wouldn't notice - of course hoping gets you nowhere.

"Holly?" I heard Vic's voice, followed by Mike turning around.

"Hey guys" I said, plastering on a smile.

"I thought you had homework, why were you at the shop?" Mike asked, staring at my bag.

"I needed ice cream, how else am I supposed to get through all this homework?" I replied.

I knew despite the fact I was trying to me as normal as I could, I was still coming across as completely suspicious. I felt my palms sweat, I just wanted this over and done with.

"Well I'd better go, see you two tomorrow" I smiled.

~

I delivered my brothers their ice cream and headed straight for the bathroom, locking myself in. I pulled out the first one, careful not to waste all my pee on that one. Once I was done, I left the stick in the sink and waited. I felt like I could easily just throw up everywhere.

My phone sounded to tell me the wait was over, I stood up, everything spinning and looked at the result. I was dead, dead meat. A blue tick looked back at me, I felt a tear trickle down my face. How could this have happened?