I'd Rather Die Than Be in Love

Such Small Hands

"Baby calm down" Mike said. 

"Mike, I can't. What if he isn't okay?" I cried. 

As I woke up, Mike proceeded to tell me I had been taken for an emergency c-section and almost immediately after they had wheeled my baby off to do 'tests'. We all sat in silence, unsure of what to say to each other whilst waiting for the news. My Dad excused himself, getting a coffee. 

"Did you see him? When he came out?" I asked Mike, to which he nodded. 

"What was he like?" I asked, feeling the tears burn my eyes. 

"Small" He choked out. 

"Was he crying?" I asked. 

Mike shook his head and looked down. 

I felt a tear roll down my cheek, this wasn't how this was supposed to go. We weren't meant to meet him for at least another month. It was supposed to a normal labour, where I'd get to meet him straight afterwards and I would be concious the entire time. Then after, Mike would tell me he had my nose and I would tell him that he had his eyes. 

After noticing me cry, he grabbed my hand, kissing it gently as we continued to wait in silence. Tony, Vic, Jaime and my brothers were all waiting outside, on the same news. I couldn't bare to speak to anyone other than Mike and my Dad - at least until after we heard something. 

~ 

I'm not sure how long we waited for news, it seemed like hours when it reality it was probably not even one hour. I just wanted him to be okay. The Doctor I recognised from earlier came in, Mike immediately fired questions at her. I would probably be doing the same if I had the strength. 

"Your son is fine" She smiled. "He had some trouble breathing to begin with, but he is doing a lot better". 

Mike pulled me into a huge hug, muttering something about how he told me it would be okay. I felt the weight of the world remove itself from my shoulders. Now all I wanted to do was meet him. 

"Can we see him?" I asked. 

"Yes, we can't take him out of the room he's in but you can visit him. I'll just get you a wheelchair, Mrs Fuentes, is it?" She asked. 

I felt a smile creep upon my face. I shook my head, "Holly Ryback, we aren't married but thanks".

~

Mike helped me into my wheelchair and we followed the nurse to our destination and there he was. He was a lot smaller than the other babies around him, but ten times as cute. He had little bits of dark brown hair covering the top of his hea and he had big brown eyes that looked all around him, they were definitely Mike eyes. He had a cute little button nose that Mike insisted was exactly like mine. 

"Such small hands" Mike observed, playing with his hands. 

"We made this" I smiled. "He's so perfect". 

"I wonder who he took that after" Mike asked me, shooting me a grin.