I'd Rather Die Than Be in Love

All I Wanted

Part of me almost wanted to follow Mike out, but I knew whenever he was like this he was just a ticking time bomb, ready to explode at any minute - and I didn't want to be around when he did.

I threw on my shoes and headed out, my mind running one hundred miles per hour. I wasn't sure if i was angry, frustrated or just plain upset. He kissed me, does that mean he has feelings for me? Or does he really only care about his girlfriend? My mind journeyed on to Leah, she was so pretty and popular and everything I wasn't.

I left a note for my brothers and began walking, I knew exactly where I was heading. But I felt a slight anger against Mike, how can he sit and play the victim when he had left me hanging? Why couldn't he see how good we'd be together? I knew what his and Leah's relationship was like, he'd never admit but they'd argued, a lot.

I arrived at an old park, weirdly it was one of my favourite places in town. The climbing frame was rusty and the roundabout didn't work anymore, but the swings were what I liked the most. Other than peeling paint around the frames, they still worked. I took a seat on one, swinging gently. I reached into my pocket and grabbed my packet of cigarettes and a lighter. Watching the flame catch on to the small stick brought a sense of relief to me. I took a drag and watched the smoke spiral out of my mouth.

The park was pretty empty, which I liked. I guessed no-one really came here anymore since the majority of the playground didn't work. I, however didn't mind. My favourite thing about it is how secluded it is, protected by a few trees around the sides.

I heard the gate squeak, I waited for some middle aged dog walker to walk through. One that would for sure, take one look at me, see the cigarette and think I was some sort of young hooligan. Most days I would make an effort to smile at them and show I wasn't all bad, but today I didn't care. I awaited the person, only to see a familiar figure, that began to make its way over. A figure that could only be Mike's.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I don't know, this one of my favourite places in town" I shrugged.

I watched him look around, surveying his surroundings.

"Weird" he said, "mind if I sit?".

I nodded as he sat on the swing next to me.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked.

"Luke told me you left a note saying you were going for a walk in the park" Mike replied.

"About earlier-" he started, only to get cut off by me.

I felt a sudden rush of anger over take and come out like word vomit, and it just kept coming and coming.

"Mike you can't keep acting like the victim here, can't you see that I like you? Leah treats your horribly, you both argue so much and you've told me a million times you wouldn't be surprised if she was cheating on you. I would treat you so much better, can't you see how well we would work together? Or am I not good enough for you? I know I'm not perfect but we have a great relationship and-" I rambled on, only to be cut off.

"Sssh a second Holly" Mike said, putting his hand on my arm. "I broke up with Leah".

I looked down, feeling more than a little embarrassed about my ramble.

"Oh wow, I'm sorry, I was just angry and-" I stammered.

"It's okay" he smiled "at least I know you're honest with me, brutally honest"

I laughed.

"And that's why I'm here, to ask you to be my girlfriend - that is if you'll have me" he added.

"I don't know" I joked "what's in it for me?".

"Hmmm, well" he stood up, searching through his pockets revealing some loose change, a lighter, a pack of cigarettes and some chewing gum. 

I watched as he extended out his hand, full of the random items he found.

"It'll have to do" I said, taking his loose change, his chewing gum, one of his cigarettes and his lighter.

"You drive a hard bargain, that was my favourite lighter" he replied.

"Oh boo hoo" I joked back.

"So is that a yes?" He asked.

"Yes" I smiled.

He pressed his lips against mine, his hands on either side of my face. And in that moment I knew that would be a kiss I would remember for the rest of my life.