I'd Rather Die Than Be in Love

Take This To Heart

I found myself sitting in the waiting room with Luke, after Mike ushered us out. I wasn't sure what he was saying to my little brother, but I wanted to find out. Luke sat beside me, clearly fuming at what had just got on. He was never good at expressing his feelings, I knew he felt exactly the same as me about the whole thing. But he was just better at hiding, covering it up with anger towards the situation - he was always a hot head. Because in reality, we had both neglected our brother. Neither of us had noticed just how he had been feeling. Maybe he was good at hiding it or maybe we were both just too wrapped up in our business. 

"I'm gonna get a drink, you want anything?" I asked Luke. 

I got a simple shake of a head as an answer. 

I knew deep down I was lying though, I was just looking for an excuse to pass Corey's room and eavesdrop. Which was exactly what I did, I found myself lurking outside the hospital room, trying my best to look casual about it. 

"Are Holly and Luke really annoyed at me now?" I heard my little brother ask, in a small voice.

I imagined Mike shaking his head and grinning slightly, like he would always do when I asked something stupid like that. 

"No dude, you know how Luke is, he'll get over it. And Holly, I think she is more upset that anything. That she didn't notice anything was wrong and you didn't come to her for help" Mike said. 

"How was I supposed to say anything? Everyone else had so many other things going on" Corey replied, adding to the ball of guilt I already had welling up inside me. 

"I know, I know exactly what it's like, I've been in your position remember? Drugs, drinking, idiotic stuff with my friends - every single night. It seems like it's helping in the beginning, you're distracting yourself. But in the long run it doesn't help anyone. It's hard to ask for help, I know that more than anyone; you're either too proud or you think no-one will care enough to hear it. But Holly cares, your Dad cares, I care, even Luke cares" Mike told him. 

"What I did was stupid, I know, I realize that now" Corey replied. 

"Good" Mike said. "Now I'm gonna go find Holly, because she's probably going crazy out there". 

I heard Corey laugh a little. 

"Hey Mike?" He asked. 

"Yeah?" Mike replied. 

"Thanks, you know for taking the time to talk to me and actually understanding" Corey said. 

"Don't sweat it, just don't tell anyone I can be this mushy" Mike joked. 

I heard footsteps and scurried around the corner knowing it was my cue to leave before I got caught eaves dropping. I felt warm inside, I had a sudden realisation. I knew I loved Mike, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But never before now had I seen just how perfect he really was. My family was a mess, but he was still here, trying to help me put the pieces back together. I don't think he ever really realized just how much that meant to me. 

"Come out Holly" I heard him say. 

I came out from around my corner. 

"How did you know I was there?" I asked. 

"You don't exactly have the quietest footsteps" He laughed.

He pulled me into a hug and I happily obliged, wriggling as close as I could be to him. Hearing his heart beat through his chest as the warmth of his body spread all over me and despite being out all day looking, there was still the faint smell of his aftershave I loved so much.

"So you heard all that then?" He asked. 

I nodded. "Thanks Mike".

"Anything for you babe" He smiled, looking down and pecking me on the lips.