Confident || Changbin

New Girl, Pt 2

We approach the door that is meant to be my office and I see a name plate on the wall.

Sage, 아티스트

I squeal inside. I'm already official! I excitedly open the door and revel in my own space. It's already furnished with a desk, a mini fridge, and a small sofa. Above the desk I see a collection of four picture frames. I step closer to get a better look at the images. They're face charts and I immediately recognize them as the face charts I used to do makeup on Changbin, Hyunjin, Felix, and Seungmin for the Maniac music video. I turn to look at Lily, who's blushing.

"I dug them out of the paperwork when you accepted the offer. I thought they would be a nice reminder of the first job you did with JYP, so I framed them for you."

"Lily, that is SO sweet! Thank you!" I give her a hug.

Next, Lily takes me on a tour of all the other locations I need to know. Bathrooms, practice rooms, photography sets, the food court...the building is so big I'm worried that I will get lost. Finally, she shows me the main salon where I will be doing most of my work prepping idols for photo shoots, interviews, and various other content that's created at JYP. The room is fully kitted with several salon chairs and cabinets stretched from floor to ceiling filled with any brand of makeup, styling tools, and hair accessories that you could imagine. I'm in heaven, I think to myself.

After I get a good look at the salon, we turn to leave but meet face to face with Heather. She's walking in with a young, beautiful girl who I imagine must be a member of one of the girl groups. Heather stops abruptly and glares at me.

"What are you doing here?"

"She's the new permanent artist." Lily answers for me.

"You?" She continues to glare. "You can't even do hair! Why would they bring you out here?"

"I'm learning." I explain.

"Whatever. Just don't make me look like an idiot and stay out of my way. I don't have time to babysit another incompetent worker." She pushes past me and leads the young girl to a salon chair.

"Noted." I say under my breath. I guess she doesn't remember how I helped her in New York when she drank too much.

My interaction with Heather concludes the tour. Lily tells me that every Sunday, I'll receive an email with the schedule for the week. That way I'll know who I'm working with and where I need to be on any given day. This week I'm supposed to start classes and familiarize myself with the building. And help Heather out wherever I'm needed. Though I get the feeling she won't be using too much of me.

Since my first day is basically over, I find my way back to my office and sit down on the sofa. I feel slightly overwhelmed after the tour and my conversations with Heather and Changbin. Speaking of Changbin. I pull out my phone.

Sage 2:17pm- I'm free from Lily's relentless grasp.

Changbin 2:18pm- Ha. I'm telling her you said that.

I smile at our banter and hope it's a good indicator of what's to come.

Changbin 2:20pm- There's a coffee shop in the food court. I'll head that way now, take your time.

As I walk into the coffee shop, I find it mostly empty aside from Changbin seated in a booth at the far corner. He stands when he sees me enter and waits for me to approach the table. I see two coffees sitting on either side of the table and I assume that he ordered for me, though he doesn't say anything. For a moment we just look at each other, neither of us knowing how to start. And then he places a hand on my shoulder and gently pulls me to his chest.

His smell is intoxicating. I find myself hopelessly hooked as he wraps his arms around me. I reciprocate and hug him too, feeling the muscles along his back. I rest my head against his chest, close my eyes, and breathe deeply as he holds me tight. He makes me feel so secure in this moment. It's not fair how he's able to do this to me.

He pulls away and searches my eyes for emotion. I try not to reveal too much. I'm still guarded and hesitant. He sits down and I follow suit, still silence between us. I find it hard to make eye contact once we're seated across from each other, especially after that embrace. I don't want to fall under his spell, but I think I'm slipping.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were coming to Korea?" He speaks first, his tone somber.

"I thought about it." I pause to consider how to answer him. "But honestly I didn't really know where we stood after that last night in New York."

He looks down and nods, accepting my response. "That's fair, I guess. I can't say I blame you. I still feel awful for the way we said goodbye."

I shift in my seat, uneasy, but ready to confront him. "I think it was the mixed signals that hurt me most. One minute you acted like you wanted me, and the next minute I couldn't tell. You kept pulling away."

"I did want you, Sage." He whispers. "I-I think I still do, but—"

"But what?"

"Look, I don't know what's going to happen. What I do know is that I can't seem to stay away from you whenever you're around. But the last thing I want is to hurt you again."

"Can't you see how that's confusing for me? How am I supposed to protect myself if I don't know what you want?" I begin to show my frustration, but my voice breaks. I feel like he's giving me the run around again.

At first he seems taken aback by my tone, but then his face softens when he can hear the hurt in my voice. "I guess what I'm asking for is a chance to be your friend first."

"Friend first?"

"Sage, I can't hide the fact that I like you. Everything that happened in New York was very real for me. I know I haven't made it easy for you, but I would love it if you allow me to get to know you better."

He's probably going to ruin me but I physically cannot say no to him. He's looking at me with hopeful eyes and I decide that I have to give him this chance. If being his friend is as far as I get then I have to take that. I'm already committed to this job and committed to working with him. I just wonder if I'm strong enough to save myself from any further heartache.

"Friends." I agree reluctantly, knowing damn well that I want so much more than that. I can only hope that he does too.