Every Little Thing

Chapter Fifteen

Blake

My first week has been great so far, my classes are are nice and the students have been cool. I have two lectures in the morning back to back, then a break and another one in the afternoon. I have a TA who's great, I met her on my second day and we hit it off. I haven't seen Ryder since my first morning where he helped me gather my papers that fell.

I was completely taken back when I heard the old nickname he called me. He probably thought I was having a seizure or aneurism since I stood there staring at him at first, without saying a single thing. It was a complete blast from the past, and I knew it was bound to happen since we're both faculty. I just didn't think it would happen so soon.

When I left him that note, it broke my heart. I didn't blame him for what had happened to me, he couldn't have known. I would have never imagined what happened that night, happening to me and I think a lot of people feel that way. I blamed myself for the longest time because I felt like I could have fought harder to get away from him. It was my therapist who convinced me otherwise and that took years.

A piece of my died that night and was left in that room. But it was eventually replaced by a much stronger version of what it once was. If I spend all my time focusing on the why, I'll never move on. It was what I had to tell myself when I sank into a deep depression; at my lowest point. I cut everyone off that night not only Ryder but Riley, Maddox, Cayden, Dylan and other friends I had made.

I was lost, confused, angry, ashamed and hurt. I wanted to feel safe and went to the only place I knew made me feel that way; home. I'll never forget the look on my dad's face when he saw me or when I had told him what happened. The same goes for Storm and Corey, they wanted to kill the guy. It took a lot of convincing to hold them back. They're the three men in my life who have always shown me unconditional love, support and respect. They're representations of the kind of man I want to be with.

Ryder was so much like them and I knew once they all met, they would have loved him. But, they never got a chance to. Ryder was the most amazing guy I had ever met, so patient, kind, caring, funny, smart and so unbelievably hard working. He allowed me to be me and never judged me for it. He never rushed things, if anything he took forever to make it official. But that's what I loved the most about him.

Not to mention he's one of the most gorgeous men I've ever laid my eyes on and still is to this day. For how handsome he is, how smart, charming and the amazing football players he was; he could have been so different. But, instead he chose to be kind and selfless. He chose to be a good person and that is what always drew everyone to him.

I won't forget what happened between us that night though. How he picked a fight with me and then walked off to dance and flirt with other girls. That part still hurts me, because I wouldn't have done that to him if the roles were reversed. We were better than that but he chose to be an asshole instead of having a conversation with me.

I'm sitting in my apartment which took me all week to unpack and get set up. Luckily my dad talked me into hiring the delivery guys to set it all up for me. After class every day I came home, unpacked and then slowly started to decorate and make the apartment feel more like me, and more like home.

I forgot to get wine on my way home today so I slide into my sandals and grab my keys. Luckily there's a cool, little market right around the corner so I can just walk over. It's fall, so the temperature has cooled down but there's still that California warmth. I have on leggings and a a long sleeve with my hair up in a bun on top of my head.

I don't plan on seeing anyone I know so I could care less how I look. I get to the market in four minutes and pull the door open, it dings and the cashier flashes me a friendly grin. I walk to the win fridge in the back and pull out a giant bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and then I snag some snacks. I walk over to the front when the door opens and Ryder walks in.