A's Lullaby

Green-Eyed Jealousy (part 2)

Nope. Aiah did not tell it to Mikha. 

The two met up after class on a Monday. Mikha had this feeling that something is off with Aiah, she just doesn't know what it was or if she's overthinking.

'What ever it is, I'm sure she'll tell me when she's ready.'

They were in their usual café place, talking about their week since they last met.

Mikha was enthusiastic about her day, she was beaming as she talked about school and friends.

"And then diba may project kami sa p.e, video about arnis. Partner ko si Kelsey halos buong araw namin tinapos kasi tawanan kami ng tawanan." She even laughed a bit as she remembered how her stomach hurts from dying out of laughter.

Her and Kelsey almost did not finish their project on time because of that.

"Ang sakit nga ng arm ko dahil sa arnis eh, pati wrist ko. I mean I know I'm athletic but ibang klaseng sport din to- wait Aiah are you okay?" Mikha stopped with her story as she noticed that grim look in Aiah's face.

She frowned, worried for her girl. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Aiah shook her head. "Go, continue."

"No what is it? Okay ka naman kanina, did something happen?"

"It's nothing Mikhs."

Mikha could see how strained Aiah's smile was. 

That's when their conversation ended. Aiah didn't talk and Mikha doesn't know if she should continue. 

It was awkward for the first time since they became a couple.

A scenario Mikha would have never imagined. She just can't fathom what's wrong. What was happening or what was the problem.

She had really missed Aiah. Mikha was anticipating to see her again even if it was only a few days of not seeing each other.

'Was it really that hard to tell me about it?'  

Mikha slowly stirred her coffee and quietly looked out the window. 

There was this mixed emotion that's gradually creeping up on Mikha.

Tiredness, confusion, and annoyance. 

But at the same time, she wants to understand the other girl.

She could feel her dried lips, biting it as her eyes wondered around. Trying to peak at Aiah.

The girl was sitting beside her quietly with a serious look on her face. Not even touching her matcha nor looking at her phone.

Earlier at school, Mikha finished three major exams. God knows how drained her brain was today. 

She only felt rejuvenated when she finally got to meet her girl friend.

So it was frustrating to be in a mysterious situation that Aiah put them in.

"Mikha." Finally, Aiah spoke.

She turned towards her and hummed. "Hmm?"

"Let's go for a walk?"

Not what she was expecting but it was good nonetheless.

"Sure." 

It was still a silent walk,  near a park. Almost near Mikha's village.

The sun was setting, coloring the surroundings with orange hues. 

And a slight tinge of purple.

With a little tint of green in Aiah's eyes but Mikha couldn't see what color it was.

Mikha was the sun, she was orange. Like the fresh peeled fruit kind of orange. Or maybe like the autumn leaves falling to the ground, a dark colored orange.

"I've never thought of myself as needy." Aiah started.

They were side by side, taking their time walking on the pavement.

There was no wind and it was dry. Mikha furrowed her eyebrows at what Aiah said.

"Well, because you aren't?"

"But I feel like I am?"

Her frown deepened. "What do you mean?"

"Di ko rin alam to be honest."

"I feel like I'm getting far away from you. And I don't like that I'm feeling that way because it also feel like I'm overthinking?" Aiah continued talking and walking even when Mikha suddenly stopped and stared at the girl's back.

"Or maybe over analyzing things and then I also tell myself it's okay to feel these...things." There was evident frustration in Aiah's voice. The girl also stopped but didn't turned around.

"I don't know how to come into terms with my feelings."

"I'm scared that maybe I'll lose you to time, or I'll not be part of most of your life right now, and..."

Then a beat of silence.

"Maybe I am needy."

It felt like she was being peeled out of the skin of confusion and finally seeing the reason. Mikha was like those dark colored leaves falling to the root of a tree, falling to a realization after being high on top.

"Are you, jealous?"

This time, Aiah turned back around.

Now Mikha could see it clearly. How green Aiah's eyes were. How it glistened and shown through the setting sun's light.

"Yes."

"Oh, love." Mikha walked forward to Aiah. "There's nothing to be jealous of."

She grabbed both Aiah's hand and directly looked into her eyes.

"You won't lose me to time, nor would you not be part of some of my life because you'll always and always be part of it. Kahit na we have our own school life, colleges, friends. You'll always be part of me."

"Kaya nga I always tell you about my day, and share things that happened to me diba?"

Aiah nodded twice, "Yeah I know."

Mikha took a gulp first and moistened her lips, "Is this also about Kelsey?"

It was a harmless guess that Mikha didn't know if she was glad she brought it up or not. Because when Aiah suddenly avoided her eyes, she confirmed.

She immediately hugged the girl. Her arms were around Aiah's waist tight. Mikha's chin nuzzled on the crook of Aiah's neck.

Mikha couldn't mind if they were in public. She needed to show Aiah assurance, may it be in words or physical affection.

"She's a friend."

"I know." Aiah mumbled. Her hands gripped on the hem of Mikha's shirt.

"And I don't have any feelings for her other than friendship."

The older girl sighed as she nodded with eyes closed. "I know."

"Then you also know that you're the only one I love, will love until I die?"

Aiah opened her eyes and took a sharp breath. "Mikha..."

"I'm serious."

"Yes, I know that."

"Good."

Mikha was still hugging her and it looks like she doesn't have any plans on letting go. Aiah then put her arms around Mikha's shoulder.

"Date tayo sa friday?" Mikha said.

"Huh? Eh diba may lakad kayo ni Kel-"

"We're having a date on friday." Mikha repeated.

Aiah chuckled, "Okay."