Flynn - a kissing booth fan fiction

Bells

A/N: And we're back! Back to the combined book and movie storyline I hoped to be able to deliver, that is. Thanks for indulging my inability to reconcile the two during those last three (six?) chapters. Now, let's get on with some of the time that was skipped over in the originals.

Elle and I spend a lot of time talking that night, each of us making promises to the other. I promise to talk more about school, about what's going on in my classes, and what my grades are like. I also promise to be honest about who I'm hanging out with, whether it be Chloe or any other friends. Elle promises to tell me if she starts to feel like I'm shutting her out, before it becomes a big deal, and she promises to keep some distance between her and Marco.

I can't deny that I want to ask her to stop being friends with him. The image of her kissing him is seared into my memory and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to completely get it out. The expression on my face gives away my thoughts and Elle squeezes her eyes shut, her mouth turned down at the corners.

"It was a stupid mistake, Noah. But it was MY mistake, not his. He didn't do anything wrong."

"He kissed you back, Elle. I saw it. He likes you."

Elle's eyes open and I hate that they're full of tears again, but this is a conversation we can't skip over, much as I don't want to even think about this, let alone talk about it.

"He's my friend. When Lee... when everyone, was perfectly fine with me not being around, he was the only person who really made time for me."

My heart aches for her, hearing in her voice how lonely she was without me, without Lee, when I at least had Chloe. But I can't help feeling like Marco had an underlying motive for always being around when Elle needed him. I hate that between the two of us Lee and I couldn't find a way to be there for Elle, that we both basically abandoned her at the same time, after always being around before. It makes me feel sick that we created a vacuum, a space for someone to come in and attempt to fill both of our roles in Elle's life.

"I'm sorry I didn't make time," I swallow, finding that tears are pricking my eyes again, too. "I'm sorry that I couldn't see how bad things got, for you. I just... it felt like I was drowning, Elle. I couldn't even keep my own head above water, let alone help you."

Her small thumb traces along my cheekbone as she gives me a half-smile.

"I didn't need you to try and help me. I just needed to feel like a part of your life. That would've made me feel better."

"You're a huge part of my life, Shell," I murmur, pulling her hand to my lips and kissing it. "You've always been part of my life."

"I know, but it didn't really feel like that anymore."

"I'm sorry. You know I'm not good at this stuff. But I promise I'll try and do better. I'll make more of an effort. I--"

"Okay, okay," Elle interrupts. "I get it. You can stop beating yourself up now."

Her lighter tone makes me smile a little.

"You know I love you?"

"Yeah," she nods, a small smile of her own appearing now. "I love you, too." 

The smile fades. "I can't just not be friends with Marco anymore, Noah. But I promise not to rely on him so much like I was before, okay?"

It doesn't feel like enough, but telling Elle who she can be friends with isn't exactly an option either. 

"Okay," I nod, kissing each of her fingers in turn. 

When I'm done, she reaches for me, pulling my face against hers, our lips crashing together. Kissing Elle is always a rush, like oxygen and caffeine hitting my bloodstream at the same time, while tiny tingles of electricity run along just under my skin. We barely come up for air before the next kiss, and the next. She melts against me where we're lying on our sides on the couch, my arms wrapped around her while her hands are on my face, in my hair.