My hubby from another mother - A Shivika Fanfiction -(On Hiatus)

~45~

Trigger warning: this part deals with abortion. And it's not the last chapter of the story.

A few weeks after revealing our love, Shivaay and I were planning our marriage with our parents' blessing. These last few weeks were pure bliss as we were no longer hiding but claiming our love for the world to see. Of course, when we revealed our marriage to the world, people were gossiping and in a newspaper, someone even wrote that Shivaay and I's relationship should be considered incestuous and thus prohibited. The shit they could write just to sell their "articles". It was scandalous.

But the problem did not come from the paparazzi. No... it came from the two pink lines that were showing on the pregnancy test I bought earlier this morning. I could not believe it. We were this close to getting married and now everything would be spoiled because of an unplanned pregnancy. Of course, I loved Shivaay, and having a little mix of both of us was a natural continuity of our love but I did not want my father to be disappointed. What would he say if he got to know about my out-of-wedlock pregnancy? And what about Pinky aunty who struggled by raising a child who was considered illegitimate by society? How could Shivaay and I fail them this easily? I stared at the pregnancy test again and almost choked as I tried to suppress a sob.

"Oh, God! What have I done?" I gasped as it was becoming difficult to breathe. I did not want to bring our child into this world this early. I wanted to wait, I wanted to do this properly, did not want to fail my father's values, did not want to break our parents' trust... And now proof of our immaturity was growing in my womb.

"Annika? Is everything alright?" It was Pinky aunty.

"Ok, I can tell her... Shall I tell her? She could help me see clearer... I have to... I need... Oh, fuck!" I sighed and opened the door and there she was. Pinky aunty was looking worried.

"Annika, you're looking pale. Are you alright?"

"It's positive." I choked out as I handed Pinky aunty the pregnancy test. "It happened only once and then I started having morning sickness and my breasts were tender and everything was falling into place. What shall I do Pinky aunty? I don't want to deceive my father. I don't want him to resent Shivaay or me and let alone our child. Do you think that I have to abort the child? It may be the best decision for all of us... I am not ready to be a mother anyway. It's too soon... But, Shivaay... What if he wants to keep it? What if I want to keep it and he doesn't? What if we break up because of the kid? What if..." I broke down crying and Pinky aunty took me in her arms.

"Everything will be alright, Annika. Come let's go to your room where we can have a proper conversation." She held me as we walked to my room and then I sat on the bed while she sat on a chair in front of me.

"First of all, I think scolding you won't help, even though I believe that I had given you the protection that you needed to prevent this type of situation from happening, but now it happened. And we need to deal with this as peacefully as we can. First thing first, do you want to keep the baby? Don't think about Shivaay, nor about your father and nor me. Think about what you want." Pinky aunty said.

"I know that I want a family with Shivaay, that's for sure... but it's too soon... We're not even married, yet. And I didn't even get to see the business world yet. I love this child already since it is a mix of us and it is because I love it that I cannot bring it to this world when I am not ready. I don't want to end up resenting it."

"So you want an abortion?" Pinky aunty asked.

"Yes, I think it is the best solution," I said. Pinky kissed my forehead.

"Do you want to let Shivaay know?" She inquired. At the mention of Shivaay, I shivered.

"He needs to know. I just hope that he will understand. As much as I love him, I am so not ready to raise a child."

Telling Shivaay that I wanted to abort was similar to ripping his heart away from him. He tried to understand my choice but that did not stop him from crying while holding my stomach. He said that he could not blame me for my choice because he understood it and that no matter what we would stick together, and that reassured me. I tried to understand his grief for this unborn baby but his sadness did not change my decision. I knew that I was doing what was best for all of us and that comforted me. I was less scared to meet with a doctor who told me about the abortion pills because Shivaay and Pinky aunty were waiting in the room next door. I was less scared when Shivaay held me tightly against him as the life we created seeped from between my legs. He kissed the top of my head, whispering sweet nothing and trying to reassure me, telling me that everything would be alright.

"I know that you wanted this kid, and I am sorry that we couldn't keep it," I whispered.

"It's alright. I am sorry that you needed to be the bravest one and that you had to take this major decision. It hurts but I understand and I respect your decision. When we will be ready we will have a child. We weren't ready." I could hear the tears in his eyes and I kissed his hand.

"We weren't ready."