Alice in Borderland: The Cycle Continues

52) Jack of Hearts [2]

"The old world. It's funny, though—the old world was never too kind to me, so why yearn so deeply for it? Well, it's egotistical to expect kindness from life, or to think life actively favors others, anyways."

===Charī Kasutoro===

– – – – – –

I had finally done it. I think I finally broke them.

It's been two years since then, and I think my tactic has worked. At first, once the initial euphoria of entering the most prestigious high school in the entire area passed over, each low grade was met harshly.

However, as they became conditioned to the lackluster scores and increasing notes home, their expectations of me slowly wavered, and began sinking. No more perfection. No more excellence. I could just do what I pleased.

But now, it all came crashing down. Though it was now time for me to start bringing my grades back up, I found that I no longer even wanted to do so. I no longer had the motivation to try, or study, or put any effort into anything for that matter. Was this my true self all along? Was my complete excellence just molded into me by my parents?

"What's on your mind?" Nakata asked. My thoughts crashed like colliding trains.

"Uh... I was just thinking."

He sighed, giving a smug smile. "I told you so."

"What? That I should've planned out my idea better?" I asked, slurping up a bite of ramen. He drummed his chopsticks on the table, earning a dirty stare from a nearby patron.

"Yeah. You really should've." He said, his voice flat.

"Mmm. This place is really good." I said, pointing to the bowl in front of me. "What is this place called? The Golden Bowl?"

Nakata nodded, his eyes focused on something behind me. I turned around; it was a young girl with short, platinum-white hair, talking to one of the cooks in the distance, pencil and clipboard in her hands.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said, uncrossing his arms, and smoothing out his hair.

"Dude, that woman's like, seven years older than you!"

Nakata scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, and how exactly is your love life?"

"It's excellent, thank you very much."

"If you're talking about that girl from Poland you're friends with online, I doubt that counts."

"What? No–what I mean is that I have no need for love. Why should I need someone else for myself to be complete?"

"Okay, sure, let's go with that." He replied, picking up an onigiri.

"No, really. I mean, all I really want from life is to know what I want. I don't know. You're kind of like, the only person who I talk to, haha."

"That's not true." He said. "You're certainly more popular than me, that's for sure."

"Yeah, but you're the only true friend I have." I said. "That I can talk to about this sort of stuff. Everyone else at school is kind of just... Icky. Especially the elites, considering everything they've done. Especially to... Yeah. It's just not fun."

"There's still good people at our school though." Nakata reasoned. "But I guess you're right."

"So I guess those are the two things I want in life. A clear direction... And more people I can trust, I guess."