BLACKHOUSE [H.S.]

Fourteen

Chapter song:

Autumn Leaves by Ed Sheeran

-

I listen to the sound of the leaves crunching under my feet as I make my way down the sidewalk, the noise distracting me from my nerves.

I haven't been to my family's gravesite in years. The thought alone always makes me sick to my stomach, but it's been ten years. It has to happen eventually.

Cass asked if I wanted her to come with me, and as much as I wanted to say yes, I knew I had to do it alone. I've never gone by myself, and after everything that's happened the last few days, I think it will be good for me.

I hope it will, at least.

I reach the entrance of the cemetery and sigh as I look out at all of the headstones around me. I hate cemeteries. I mean, I'm sure no one likes cemeteries, but I always get a pit in my stomach whenever I go.

I make my way to gravesite, reading the different names on the headstones along the path. All of these people had their own lives. They were mothers, fathers, grandparents, children... It's a heartbreaking reminder that nothing in life is forever. I know that's just a part of being human, but there's a reason people look to religion for comfort in what happens after we die. The unknown is terrifying.

When I reach my family's plots, I feel a wave of nausea wash over me. My mother, my father, and my little sister are all in front of me. I glance at their different headstones.

My parents share one. Their names are carved into the marble in beautiful script, with their birthdays, date of death, and the day they got married. A lyric from one of my mom's favorite songs is etched at the top.

Oh, how I miss you
My symphony played the song that carries you out

I reach down and touch the cold, indented stone, and feel my eyes begin to well up with hot tears. It's the perfect song to be on there, but I can't help but feel like it's a bit haunting.

I use the sleeve of my sweater to wipe the tears that have already started to fall down my face.

My sister's headstone is to the right of theirs, in the shape of a heart with her seventh grade school picture encased above her name.

Mallory Sophia White
May 16, 1999 - October 15, 2012

I stare at her long dark hair that my mom insisted on curling for the photo. I can't help but smile as I remember Mallory fighting her before school because of how long she was taking. She could never sit still, and she'd already been in the chair for thirty minutes so mom could do her hair. She just kept telling Mallory that she'd want to look back at the photo when she got older. My heart clenches at the memory.