BLACKHOUSE [H.S.]

Thirty-Four

Chapter song:

Even When I'm Not With You by Pierce The Veil

-

Cass and I sit side-by-side on my couch as I pick at my cuticles. After Harry left, I asked her to take me home before everyone could start asking questions. I hated the way they looked at me, with a mixture of pity and confusion on their faces, so I needed to get out of there as fast as I could. They saw the whole thing.

They heard the whole thing.

The drive home was silent, Cass being too nervous to ask questions and me being too scared to answer them. I wanted to tell Cass about sleeping with Harry eventually, but not like this.

I changed out of my dress the second I got home. My sleeves were soaking wet from crying, and my cheeks were stained with mascara. I knew I would want to be somewhat comfortable when I talked to Cass, because I was fully prepared for an uncomfortable conversation.

Cass breathes in deeply through her nose before letting out a heavy sigh. "W- What's been going on between you two?" She finally asks.

I begin wracking my brain for an explanation that doesn't involve mentioning my new side job. "We've kind of been sleeping together," I mutter, chewing nervously on my bottom lip.

Her brows pinch together as she purses her lips. She already knew that, she heard Harry shout it loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear, but she doesn't say it.

"Since when?" Is all she says.

I feel a heavy knot grow in my stomach. "Since Halloween," I whisper.

Her eyes widen, a look of shock flashing across her face. "So, for almost a month you've been sleeping with Harry, of all people," she lets out an exasperated chuckle. "And you didn't tell me?"

"To be fair, we've only had sex three times," I attempt to justify. She rolls her eyes at my pathetic excuse. "I didn't know how, okay? It's not like I wanted this to happen. I was embarrassed."

It's not necessarily that I was embarrassed because of Harry, I was embarrassed because I made the mistake of sleeping with someone who has treated me like shit since the second we met.

Things were getting better.

"How did it even start?" She wonders, propping her elbow up on the back of the couch to rest her cheek against her knuckles. "I mean, I thought he was a total dick to you."

"He is, clearly," I scoff, shaking my head at my own stupidity. "But not always."

I stay quiet for a moment, and she looks at me expectantly for an explanation.

I swallow the lump in my throat before continuing. "I- I don't know how it started," I sigh, my chest tightening as I think back to Halloween night, and the moment in Louis's bathroom. "After the first time, I told myself it would never happen again. Something came over me that night, and I felt so stupid after. Then, it happened again."