JJK One shots

JJK Characters x Shit my kids say

This will be ongoing as I listen to my kids say more weird stuff lol

Gojo: [Megumi], you know what Yuji said when he saw you being dropped off?
Yuji: That's my best friend [Megumi]!
Megumi: :\

Yuji: I fawted :)
Nobara: I fawted too! hehe :)
Yuji: I fawted again!
Nobara: I FAWTED AGAIN!

Nanami: What is your favorite vegetable?
Megumi: Carrots!
Yuji: CHEESE!!!

Nobara: NOOO HELP ME PUT MY SHOES ON D:< I CAN'T PUT THEM ON BY MYSELF (as she puts her shoes on by herself)

Gojo: Oh no! Panda is being eaten by a leaf monster!
Toge: D: *desperately trying to pull panda out of the leaf pile he was asking to be buried in, punching the leaves away*

Yuji: I had donut at home!
Nanami: Oh? What kind?
Yuji, clearly panicking: Uh... they were little round ones!

Yuji: (already actively sitting in lap) I want to sit in your lap :)

Gojo: Oh no! You melted!
Megumi: i am a puddle c:

Megumi: I saw the moon at my house! and a star!
Nobara: No, I saw a star at mY HOUSE! >:(
Nanami: Did you both see the same star?
Nobara: NO! I SAW A STAR AT MY HOUSE AND MEGUMI DID NOT SEE IT!!!

Yuji: NANAMI CAN I HAVE MORE HAM?
Nanami: You have to raise your hand quietly then ask.
Yuji, not understanding the concept: *whispering as he raises his hand* can I have some more ham?

Nobara: Here is some pie
Gojo, taking the 'pie': Mm thank you, so yummy
Megumi: *whispering *Psst, it is not real. It is pretend.
Gojo: I know, but we're going to pretend right now
Megumi: *whispering* 's not real 
Nobara: ʘ‿ʘ

Nanami: What do we say to gojo for the food?
Yuji, getting quiet and thanks mixed up: *whispering* thank you
Gojo, whispering back: youre welcome

Ieiri: So, what are you guys getting for Christmas?
Yuji: Presents!
Ieiri: What kind of presents?
Yuji: Um blue ones, and pink ones, and purple ones, and red ones, and blue ones, and black ones and red ones and pink ones!

Yuji: I brought my penguin today!
Gojo: Ooh, what's their name?
Yuji, panicking: Uh... penguin

Megumi, sitting on Gojo's lap, looking at the room full of kids and teachers: There are a lot of people here o-o
Gojo, trying not to laugh: Yes, there are. 

Maki: I WANT YOU TO GO HOME RIGHT N O W!!! >:(
Gojo: Well, I can't do that :/
Maki, continuing to throw tantrum: NOOOOOOOOWWWW!!! D:<
Gojo: You wanna see a tree that fell down?
Maki, no longer crying: Yah :)

(Second year babies looking at the first year babies)

Inumaki: You are a chunky widdle baby :) yes you are!
Inumkai: wook at those tiny TOES! so littul! :)

Gojo: Hey, Nobara-
Yuji: Her name is not Nobara! It is tooty booty!
Gojo: Tooty booty?
Yuji: Yeah >:(

Maki, walking around with a toy hammer:  :)
Gojo: Whatchya got?
Maki, showing hammer and proceeding to hit Gojo in the head: :)
Gojo: Ow! Don't do that, that hurts :(
Maki: :)
Gojo: :/
Maki, looking at the nearby baby and raising her hammer: 0u0
Gojo, trying to keep the baby from getting concussed: NOPE!

Megumi: Why are you a teacher?
Ieiri: Uh, dunno I just am.
Megumi, squinting: You're not a teacher
Ieiri: ? Yes I am?
Megumi, still squinting: No, you're a girl >:/

Maki, watching from the playroom: >:/
Gojo, pretending to eat Megumi: Nom nom nom, mmmm! Sooo yummy!
Maki, SCREAMING: THAT IS MY LITTLE COUSIN DO NOT EAT HIM!
Gojo, ignoring her: Mmmm, a tasty little Megumi morsel :)
Maki, on the verge of tears: NO!!! HE IS A LITTLE PERSON AND HE IS NOT YUMMY!!!!!


Nanami, sitting at the lunch table with the kid: :)
Yuji, making a face in his high chair: Hurrhhhhhhnnnng >:(
Nanami: What, you poopin bud?
Yuji: *nods* :)
Inumaki, looking at Yuji, then back to Nanami: *Does the sign for stinky he learned a day before*
Nanami: Haha! Yes, stinky. P.U.

Nobara, fluffing her hair: Do you like my ponytail?
Gojo: I do like your ponytail!
Nobara: Thanks, it's behind my head :)

Nanami, bent over picking up chalk:

Yuji, patting his butt: You gotta big bum :)
Nanami:  -_-