Do You Trust Me?

Chapter Twenty-Six

DISCLAIMER: ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTIONAL AND ONLY BASED ON CELEBRITIES BY THEIR LOOKS!

TIGGER WARNING FOR EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL, DOMESTIC ABUSE I WILL PUT 🟡🔵🟢 BEFORE THE SCENE AND AFTER FOR THOSE WHO'D LIKE TO SKIP

Camila

How fast is too fast to move with someone you use to be with?

I knew my love for her never went away, but I just can't jump all the way back in after everything that's happened. Trying to get back into the first mindset I had after the incident in the locker rooms that really was the catalyst that brought us all together was troubling. How I was able to be so confident back then and just talk to Lauren without over worrying about I might come across to her.

Not that I haven't been dealing with intrusive thoughts all my life, but now that I'm older they're so much louder. They've grown with me. Picking apart at my insecurities in the voices of people I hold close. It's impossible to do anything without any train of thought because they never stop. All of my moves are judged. My breaths. My steps. My words.

The entirety of my existence.

It wasn't always this bad.

"I'll wear whatever just don't put me in six inch heels-I will fall on my face," I said genuinely as the room filled with laughter.

It was now two days from the premier and the beach house had turned into one big walk in closet for Lauren and I. Roger had brought both of our teams to get us ready and set for the red carpet.

"Well with Lauren escorting you I think you'll be fine," Roger started with Katie sitting next to him on the couch as Lauren and I were being treated as human dolls on these round platforms they'd brought in, "It should probably be outfits that compliment each other."

I rubbed my arm as I looked over myself, I'd settled with a white tank top and some blue running shorts to easily access the clothes and not have to come back from another room after putting it on. The Celeste wig on my head without a cap, just a loose ponytail to keep my hair back to get a good feel to what won't clash with my silver hair. Most of what was on the rack by me was in an dark académica aesthetic, or at least that's what my stylist, Chloe, had called it. Most just consisted of dark earth tone colors and long sleeves, I had no complaints honestly.

Hesitantly looking over I watched Lauren unbuckle a brown leather belt with an open button shirt to show her black bralet and toned body, "I'll wear whatever doesn't choke my dick." My eyes widened from Lauren's sudden vulgarity before looking around to see everyone laughing.

Quinn, Lauren's stylist, just shook their head as they looked through the rack before running a hand through their dark blue curly hair, "How about we just put you in a skirt and Camila in the suit?" Grabbing for a long brown skirt and a black long sleeved turtle neck shirt, "With this we can really show off your curves."

Since Norminah's family was staying for awhile to enjoy their stay in California I cordially invited Lauren to stay with me. Part of me was waiting for Lauren to deny me before we went back to pretending like we didn't kiss or shower together, but once again she proved my intrusive thoughts wrong. She'd go out for her work and come back ringing on the video doorbell only to hold up food with an adorable smile. Sometimes she'd come back with just little gifts like flowers or gift baskets she'd get at work in her green room. It was as if we were a newly wedded couple.

Lauren asked me if it was really alright and all I could think of was pulling her to my bed to show her how alright I was with it.

God that shower together probably wasn't the best idea. Now all I thinking about is how much I want her. Even though I know that there's more I want with Lauren, I couldn't ignore how I couldn't stop thinking of what I saw. My hands running up her torso as hers only pulled me closer. Those eyes looking over me with a way that made me want to give myself to her at the snap of a finger.