Chapter Two

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Lauren

It was pointless.

The house had worried voices and hurried steps echoing throughout it as I was lied out on my bed. It was just a huge bamboo bed and a coral satin bed set in my room. The morning California sun bathing it and myself in its warm rays. It was the first morning of my moving into the house I just bought out in the hills. The only thing I'd really moved in was this bed and the mediocre living room and dining set. By mediocre it was literally just a TV mounted to the wall, one recliner, a small dining table with four seats, and one pan. I was thankful for Katie and Roger who'd helped me find an interior designer to come look at the house while we'd be away.

It really sucked that I was only going to spend one night at my new house. Especially sucked even more when I didn't get a wink of good night's sleep. Looking up at my ceiling I reassured myself that it was definitely for the best that the girls didn't come to California. I'd convinced them that spending one night only to fly back the day after wasn't worth it.

Dinah of course being the one to break out my own song only to have Ariana and Lucy join her in the choreography. Normani kept insisting that they'd be fine. That when I left for tour they could just go sightseeing and stay at a motel. I told them that when the house is all setup and I come back in winter that they wouldn't have to waste any money on a motel. She kept persisting but thankfully Dinah told her to relax and just explained to her that they could always see me on the tour.

Normani didn't seem happy about it but she agreed. I never felt so relieved that they wouldn't be able to hear me screaming out from my dreams. That's how it was most nights. Just like tonight. I watched the sun come up as I tried to keep myself up. Waking up only to hear the ringing of my own voice echo throughout the house in the night. So I decided to just stay up before someone thought they heard a distant incident happening.

My closest neighbor all hundreds of feet away up and down the hill. But I didn't want to risk it.

No one could know.

It was pointless to let her have so much control over me when she's not even trying.

But she does.

"Lauren," Katie walked in through the huge dark wood door of my bedroom, "Thank you for putting your luggage downstairs for us to get loaded into the truck, I appreciate that. I was honestly surprised to see that-I was honestly sure you would've waited till the last minute." Her eyes falling on me as her smile fell as well. "You didn't sleep, huh?"

Slowly I turned my head and I knew what she was talking about. It probably being the horrible dark circles under my eyes. "I did. Just weird moving someplace new." I lied to her and she let out a sigh.

"Aw Lauren," she cooed while strutting over in her tennis shoes, "I could've stayed with you and gotten an air mattress. Or you could've stayed at my apartment."

I sat up and ran my hands through my hair before replying, "It's okay. I just did the packing when I'd wake up and took a nap after. I'm okay." I shrugged while getting up and walking over to my bathroom.

"Do you want any breakfast," Katie asked me from outside the door while I stripped out of my baggy tee and briefs, "We have some time before we have to leave. I could get you something."

"Anything is fine." I told her as I stepped into the tub. My body relaxing the second I felt the warm water coming around my legs. Slowly sitting myself down it felt nice to be enveloped in something comforting. "A green tea though. Please." I asked of Katie as I lowered myself into the water.

"No problem!" She told me as I heard her voice fade away.

So I let myself go under. Submerging my head in the water as I held my breath. Squeezing my eyes shut as I let my body settle. This is what everyday felt like now. There's so much noise but none all at the same time. Slowly I opened my eyes and looked up at the water's surface. Little bubbles of air escaping my lips and nostrils as I kept looking.

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