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Tears... they're common, right?
Then... why did so many stain my bedsheets? Why do people feel like sadness should be disguised?
I quietly sobbed into the soft pillow in a desperate attempt to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks... but it was difficult. Impossible, even; I hated the way I sounded when I cried. I hated the face I pulled when I cried - I was gripping on to the pillow for dear life trying to hide myself from anything, even my own mind, despite being alone in the room.
The bedroom door suddenly opened, and I instantly wiped the tears and layed down. A familiar figure walked in, took off his coat, and stepped towards the bed with a warm smile.
"Ah, you're sleeping... sorry, girlie, I'll be quiet!"
Childe was finally home after a long day of Fatui work. He huffed as the mattress shifted underneath his weight. Though my heart dropped when I heard his confused noise.
"Huh... your pillow is a little damp... are you okay?"
He turned my body to face him by my shoulder, and I immediately knew my red & puffy eyes gave away the situation. I broke eye contact with the harbinger and glanced the other way in shame.
"I know I've been quite busy, Y/N... but I always have time for you. Why didn't you talk to me...?" He asked.
I struggled to let any words out of my mouth, and once I did I made it worse with a slight voice crack caused by the amount of crying I'd already done.
That must have been the thing pushing me over the edge, because I felt the watery liquid drip down my face again.
I attempted to hide my face in the pillow, but Childe caught me beforehand and pulled me into his chest. For a moment I tried to pull away thinking I'd make him physically uncomfortable by leaning on him, but I eventually gave up.
"It's okay, I'm here for you. Let it all out, I will be here to listen."
He whispered, holding his hand on my head and gently beginning to stroke my hair. For a few minutes I just couldn't stop crying, but Childe didn't mind. He sat there, holding me, until I calmed down.
"Y/N... I know it's so hard for anyone to change your mindset, but remember that I love you for you, okay? And what other people may think of you doesn't matter. At the end of the day, when we grow up and live our lives, this will be something you won't vividly remember. You shouldn't let your insecurities control you, or stop you from seeing the world and doing things that you'd like to do."
I nodded and sniffed. It felt good to let everything out, because afterwards all I wanted was for him to hold me for the rest of the night.
My arms slithered around Childe's stomach, and his sweet grin made me smile a little too.
"You should smile more." He stated, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. "A smile looks so beautiful on you, trust me on that."
I took a deep breath and got comfortable while still laying in his arms. My eyes welled up with tears as I tried to speak again, but this time I was able to hold them back.
"It's just... really hard. I want to look nice all the time and have a good personality, but now that I think about it nobody actually cares."
Childe nodded his head in agreement.
"I know, girlie. There will be people out there who think the exact same way as you, and the only thing they can think about is what you think of them, not the other way around. But I love you, so, so, so, much! What more could you want, hmm?~"
I laughed and wiped my eyes with my thumb. I knew it wouldn't be the last time I'd be feeling upset like this, but I was glad that Childe had found me crying in the first place. I felt so much better just by talking things out with him.
"Thank you, Ajax. I love you too."
He let out a breathy yet nervous laugh, before kissing my forehead.
"H-Heh... you still remember that when you use my real name... it kind of gives me butterflies and catches me off guard. What a cute little detail~ now, let's get something nice to eat! It's been a long day for the two of us, and we should spent the rest of it as romantically as possible, don't you think?"
"Okay, sure." I replied, grinning. "Let's go, Ajax."
