Daryl's Precious Gem: Iridescent (Daryl Dixon/ Negan Fanfiction)

8: Steamy Circumstances

"To make a hero out of someone... Somebody has to become the villain." ~Vilen
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Spencer..
Abraham..
Glenn..
Maggie..
And now Denise..

How many others would die at my expense? Deep down I knew it wasn't my fault but my conscience felt all the weight of the guilt as if it were. Flashes of what I had done to the random savior and Gregory flooded my mind despite my efforts to forget them. I rocked myself back and forth as I hugged my knees to my chest and rested my head on my knees. My fears had started to become true. I was becoming the monster I despised the most—Negan. The words I used and how I said them to Gregory; I would have never said those things before. Or would I?

My sanity was on thin ice. One wrong step would shatter it. In this moment I needed my family. I needed Daryl. He would be able to soothe me and bring me back to reality. I sobbed as I remembered how Daryl looked at Alexandria. He truly looked awful. I hated that Negan's men were hurting him. I prayed the map I had given to Rosita would be helpful. It had to work! They had to break Daryl out.

"You awake?" Dwight knocked on the door.

I wiped my face and sniffled. My voice wobbled as I spoke, "Yeah."

As Dwight entered his eyes widened at my appearance, "You.."

"I look like shit. I know." I interrupted him. My voice cut in and out as I lost my voice from screaming into a pillow.

"You sound like shit too." Dwight closed the door and took a seat across from me on the floor.

"What are you doing here?" I muttered.

"Came to check on you. Considering everything that happened yesterday." Dwight sighed. "Did you manage to get any sleep?"

I shook my head in response, "Couldn't."

Dwight raised an eyebrow, "Or wouldn't?"

I rolled my eyes, "A mixture of both."

"Have you ate since?"

I shook my head once again.

"Jesus Ruby.."

"What the fuck am I supposed to do, Dwight? What I did yesterday genuinely scared me! I don't recognize myself anymore. When I look at my hands all I can see is Gregory's blood even though I thoroughly washed my hands for a good two hours last night!" My voice cracked as leaned my head against the wall and rubbed my temples. "I'm losing my mind Dwight!"

"You should've agreed to become his wife."

"And then what? Just become a sex object? No! Either way I'd still be losing my mind." I kicked the side of the bed.

"But at least you wouldn't be killing people."

"I can't be his wife." I sniffled.

"Why not?"

"You know why." I mumbled.

Dwight nodded, "Daryl."

"Finding out about Maggie, then losing Denise and seeing Daryl in his state, it.. it was too much for me. Who's doing it to him?"

Dwight frowned, "He refuses to be broken, Ruby. Negan usually has Simon or other guards beat him when he doesn't comply."

"Is-is he okay?" I bit my lip.

"He's alive. That's about as okay as he's gonna get."

I let out a shaky breath as I reached into my shirt and pulled out a note for Daryl, "I need you to give this to him. Please!"