Unknown Feelings|| Max Mayfield

SURVIVING

AN: Hi guys I'm back, sorry I've been gone for a bit but I have been busy with too many exams but here I am coming back with more chapters.

Lets get it.

-

Its been two months since Alex and Jim Hoppers death El has been trying to push through and put a smile on her face but before she goes to bed every night she would cry wishing to be with her dad and her brother.

Max however had been struggling, a few days after the events at Starcourt Mall she distanced herself, avoiding everything and everyone.

Every night she would fall asleep to the tape Alex gave to her, his voice soothing her to sleep, only to be woken up by the horrifying nightmares that floated in her dreams.

They felt so real Max didn't feel like going to sleep anymore, she didn't want to face Alex and what he looked like in her mind, bloody and Battered.

Every time, she tried to shake off the images that felt as of they had been hot glued to her mind.

They were in High school now, Lucas got in with the popular crowd but Mike and Dustin stuck to their dungeons and dragons

                                    -

She headed off the Bus with her headphones blasting ears.

"Max! Max!" The school shrink shouted loud enough for her to hear

"where were you yesterday?" she pondered

"oh. yeah. sorry, I forgot it was Thursday" Max told the woman taking her headphones off her ears

"well I'd like to see you today. Come straight after lunch, okay?"

Max just raised her eyebrows in acknowledgement and walked off putting her headphones back on

She walked into the Gym to see the pep rally going on. Cheerleaders were being thrown into the air, pompoms flying left right and centre. She found Dustin and Mike in the bleachers and she took a seat near them

"Look I'm not saying my girlfriend is better than yours, its just that Suzie is like, a certified genius" Dustin explained to Mike

"You do realize El saved the world twice right?" Mike argued

"And yet you still have a C in Spanish" Dustin said justifying he point

Their conversation soon ended when the basketball team came out. Everyone began to scream and cheer. Lucas also running out with them in his basketball uniform. His smile was so bright feeling uplifted by the crowd

A tall blonde boy ran up to the microphone

"Good morning Hawkins high! first off I would like to thank each and everyone of you. Without your support, we wouldn't be here. So give yourself a big hand.

Once again the audience cheered louder.

Lucas spotted Max, Mike and Dustin in the stands with a unemotional expression on their face. He waved at them glad that they came. only for them to ignore him and look away.

A frown appeared on his face and suddenly the floor became the most interesting thing he had seen that day.

Alex would've waved at me... he thought

He took a deep breath composing himself once more, when Jason, the blonde boy began to speak again

...And to the prettiest fans of all time, the Tiger Cheer Squad!"

"Chrissy, I love you babe" he finished off with a smile.

In return she sent him a kiss leaving the crowd awing

"You know." Jason paused

"I think I can speak for all of us when I say, it's been a tough year for Hawkins. So much loss. And sometimes I wonder, how much loss can one community take? In dark days like this we need something to believe in. So yesterday when we were down ten points I looked and my team and said think of Melissa, think of heather, think about our heroic police chief Jim hopper!"

"But most of all think of Alex Jordan. He was one of ours!" Everyone took glances at the party but mainly Max as they all knew how close the two were

Max lowered her head and Lucas removed his gaze from Jason and fixated it on Max. They both shared eye contact and immediately looked away

-

Max quickly left the gym not interested in the after talks and dances. She walked through the hallway, Kate bush muting out the world around her

As she made it to Ms. Kelly's office.

"Can you remove your headphones, please?" Ms. Kelly asked her gesturing to her ears

Max turned off her music and took off her headphones "sorry" she said

They both sat in silence for a few seconds until Ms. Kelly spoke up

"A C in English and a C-minus in Spanish. Well that's not normal for you"

"If you say so" said max trying to keep it short and simple

"How's your mom holding up?"

"fine" Max replied fiddling with her wire connected to her headphones

"I mean, she hates our new place, which is, like...Yeah, it's terrible but...She's fine" Max responded struggling to find the words to say

"Is she still drinking?" Ms. Kelly asked

"Like, yeah, a little, but... well she's working two jobs. So it's not easy"

"It must not be easy for you either with your stepdad and stepbrother gone"

"It's kinda better, honestly." Said Max

"Better how?" Ms. Kelly Pushed on

"They were both assholes, so there's, less assholery... they both just packed up and left and I don't really care" Max answered annoyed with all the personal questions

"Are you sleeping better?" Ms. Kelly asked

And all of a sudden a flashback of when she found out Alex was confirmed dead when police found the undercover uniform he was using covered in blood and a hole right in the chest

I don't believe you! Its not true! He... he- he promised me. He's not dead, don't tell me that shut up!-"

"Max?"

"Hm? yeah fine"

"So no more headaches?" Ms. Kelly asked again

Max shook her head. "Nightmares?"

Maxs dream came back to her where she pictured Alex laying on the floor dead blooding spewing out of his mouth and clothes

"What you've been through, and are still going through, it's a lot for anyone. And it's okay to not be okay."

"Well I'm okay, okay? Im completely fine" max responded. The bell went and she picked up her bag and walked out

Truth be told she wasn't fine in fact she was far from it.

She only ever expressed her feeling with Alex and now. Now he was gone.