IncuBUST

Dirtbag

My face flamed and I stammered, "I wouldn't say head over--"

"Fuck, I feel like such a dirtbag now," he said.

"You're not--"

"No, I am. I got so caught up in my own feelings, I didn't even think about yours," he said, and I replied, "It's not your job to care about other people's feelings, Niki."

"Isn't it, though? I was given this gift for a reason. I've always believed that and I always, always, put the feelings of others first, but being around you...I can finally experience my own emotions and I guess I got a little carried away," he said, and I reached across the table taking his hand in mine.

"It's perfectly understandable," I said, and he stared down at our intertwined hands. He suddenly started laughing. My brow furrowed.

"Oh, I'm being ridiculous. We...we could never be together, could we?" he asked pulling his hand away from mine. "You're over two-hundred years old and yet don't look a day over eighteen. Empaths rarely make it past a hundred. I'll be dead before you can even pass for twenty-five."

I blinked rapidly at him before removing my glasses and staring down at the tabletop using the bottom of my shirt to clean the lenses. Nikolai let out a harsh exhale like he had just been socked in the gut and he said, "Oh, my god, Chase, I'm sorry." I shook my head and continued vehemently wiping my glasses struggling to breathe. Nikolai clutched at his own chest and drew in a ragged breath.

"I shouldn't have said that," he gasped reaching across the table. I jerked away causing my chair to squeak against the floor and I said, "You're right...you, your sisters...Octavia. You'll all be dead, and I'll still be here. It's why relationships between mortals and Mythics are never really worth it."

I yanked my wallet out of my pocket, slapped a couple twenties on the table and left. I strode across the small back-alley parking lot and made it halfway to Nikolai's car before folding over and gasping for breath.

How could he say that to me? It was a fact of life that Mythics outlived humans. It was a fact of life that certain Mythics lived longer than others. Some lived for thousands of years, some for hundreds, some were genuinely immortal and some, like Empaths, Telekinetics, Firestarters, Telepaths and the like that rarely lived longer than a hundred years. But to have someone say it straight to my face...

"Chase!" I heard Niki call to me from across the lot. I straightened up and rushed over to his car yanking on the handle so that I could get Octavia's stuff and get out of here. It was locked. I growled and yanked on it though I knew it was useless.

"Chase," he said again, and I felt his hand on my shoulder. I stumbled away from him and said, "Unlock the door."

"I'm so sorry. What I said was thoughtless. It must be awful having to watch the people around you grow old and die while you stay more or less the same," Nikolai said and I felt tears burning in my throat.

"Please, stop talking," I murmured turning once more to pull on the door handle. He grabbed me by the arm and wrenched me back around snapping, "What I said was stupid and insensitive, but don't think for one second that your relationship with Octavia isn't worth it."

I stared at him in shock feeling a single tear spilling over the edge of my right eye. He shook his head and continued, "You save my cousin's life. You took care of her. You made her feel safe. That was worth it." He let go of me and removed his keys from his pocket pressing a button to unlock the back door of his car.

He pushed me aside and opened the door saying, "People die, Chase, all the time, but with great loss comes great love and love is always worth it." He shoved Octavia's bags into my arms and slammed the door shut before climbing into the driver's seat.

I stared after him as he sped out of the alley and onto the street leaving me there with a laptop case slung over my shoulder and a duffle bag squished into my arms.