Collision (HermitcraftxEmpires Au)

Incorrect Quotes 3

I'm enjoying making these so have some more. Also using this as filler while I figure out how I'm going to end this story xd. Ill probably have the next real chapter out by tomorrow!

Cleo: I have an idea!
Xisuma: Does it involve breaking the law?
Cleo: By now don't you think that's a given?
Xisuma: I was just trying to be optimistic
Cleo: Don't bother

Grian: Am I going too far?
Xisuma: You went too far 7 hours ago. Now you're going to prison

Lizzie: I've been dropping him insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response
Joel: Wow. They sound stupid
Lizzie: They're not actually. They're really smart. Just dense
Joel: Maybe you need to be more obvious, like 'hey, I love you'
Lizzie: I guess you're right. Hey Joel, I love you
Joel: See! Just like that
Lizzie: Holy fucking shit
Joel: Sorry Lizzie but if that flies over his head then he's too dumb for you
Lizzie: Joel

Ren: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you're single?
Bdubs: Do not do that
Ren: You won't even notice!
Etho enters room: Hey guys
Ren: Bdubs is single
Bdubs:

Xisuma: We've got to cut down on our expenses. What can we live without?
Cleo: Jevin probably
Jevin: HEY-

*something crashes*
Bdubs: Shoot-
Ren, running into the room in a panic: WHAT FELL?!
Etho, walking by the room calmly: What died?

Etho: I desire moisture
Bdubs: Please just say 'I want water' like a normal person

Xisuma: Grian...
Grian: Oh no, Grian in B-flat
Grian: You're disappointed

*someone sends more than 5 messages in a row*
Keralis: I ain't reading all that
Keralis: I'm happy for you tho
Keralis: Or sorry that happened

Etho: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you just really annoy me and I can't handle your crap. Have fun figuring out which one it is

Cleo: I hate Jevin
Xisuma: 'Hate' is a strong word
Cleo: I have strong opinions

Jimmy: Ooh a train!
Scott: We're in a train station Jimmy

Ren: Honestly I'm so evil. So full of darkness. I feed off the souls of the living, I strike fear into-
Bdubs: You sleep with a teddy bear
Ren: HE'S MY SECOND IN COMMAND TO MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!!

Pearl: Why should I make my bed if I'm just gonna sleep in it anyways?
Cleo: Why should I feed you if you're just gonna die anyways?
Pearl:
Pearl: I'll go make my bed-

Ren: The ritual. To perform is requires a sacrifice.
Etho: Sacrifice? I nominate Bdubs
Bdubs: Wait what?
Etho: Because you're so little, you'll fit on the barbecue
Bdubs: I'm 5'10! I'm average height in most places!
Ren: It's not that kind of sacrifice guys!

Bdubs, very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?
Ren, half asleep: Bdubs this is a king sized bed. This means it's for *gestures vaguely to himself* the king.

Etho: I have a new hoodie
Bdubs: Wrong.
Bdubs: We have a new hoodie.

Xisuma: Are you mad?
Cleo: No.
Xisuma: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a new hobby?

Scar watching Bdubs and Tango fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they hurt each other?
Etho, not bothered by the chaos: It's fine. They're too evenly matched to hurt each other
Scar: Then.. who's the strongest out of you three?
Tango: Etho
Bdubs: Etho
Etho: Me

Katherine: I'm going to fight the next person who insults Shelby
Shelby: I hate myself
Katherine: Alright, square up

Sausage: Pick a card, any card
Joey: Fine
Sausage: Hey that's my credit card!
Joey: *shrugging* you said any card

Gem: Look guys I need help
Pearl: Love help?
Doc: Financial help?
Xisuma: Emotional help?
Cleo: Help moving a body?
*everyone looks at Cleo*
Cleo: What?

Scott: I want someone to take me out
Jimmy: On a date?
Gem: With a sniper gun?
Fwip: Both if you're not a coward

Bdubs: I have a problem
Etho: Kill it
Bdubs: Can you chill for like 2 seconds?

Ren: What's up? I'm back
Grian: I saw you die. You died. You were dead
Ren: Death is a social construct

Grian, watching Jimmy do something stupid: Scar you're officially only the second highest risk
Scar: Hell yeah! I'm gonna-
Grian: Don't finish that sentence. You'll move back up

Impulse: You're drunk
Tango: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar Impulse

Tango: Oh no. She texted you 'hi'. Punctuation can only mean one thing. She's mad at you.
Scott: No it's Pearl she's just being grammatically correct!
*meanwhile*
Pearl: And then I used a period so he'd know I'm mad at him
Cleo: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad' it means 'you're dead to me'
Pearl: I stand by my choice