Ruin In Royals (Royal #1: Book 2) | ✔

16

-• when my two favorite people met •-

I smile through my tears when Vivaan crouches to my mother's grave, his hand reaching forward to brush off the dried leaves and dust nestled in her engraved name. Then he smiles and my heart squeezes in my chest, my lungs feel stuffy, but I don't let the corners of my lips descend. I never thought I'd love someone as much as I loved my mother, yet here I am, watching the dead meet the life, both of which hold a part of me I can never take back from them.

"They say you can never leave this world alive," he murmurs softly. "And yet she left such a precious life behind." He glances at me tenderly.

I choke back on my tears, inhaling a shaky breath that whirls inside me like storm of the night, heavy, crushing, consuming. Dad steps beside me, his strong built supporting my weak knees and I hug him around the torso, resting my cheek on his broad chest as I watch Vivaan talk to my mother.

"Thank you, Scarlett, thank you for giving us such a beautiful gift. Thank you for choosing to become a mother she'll never stop loving, missing, mourning."

I bury my face in my father's chest and his arms come around me, holding me strongly as I breakdown in gut wrenching sobs.

"She's healing us." He says shakily, and that hits me harder.

"Shh," I hear Dad whisper as he traces a hand down my spine, soothing, gentle, a touch that blankets me with a sense of serenity, security, surreality.

I can't believe I have a family now. The world of a sixteen year old, that started with her mother and ended there, had a universe within itself, and I never realised that until these men came into my life.

"Come, we should meet her too," Dad stirs me closer to the grave, making me kneel before my mother. I brush away the tears from my eyes, clearing my gaze so I can look at her to the brim of my heart. "Look at her Scarlett, four months and she's got an army of men protecting her." He chuckles tearfully, caressing her name gently. "Who'd have thought our Esther will begin her fairytale after our ends?"

I drag my lower lip beneath my teeth, clenching my jaw so I don't end up crying again. It's so easy to let it all out, to have a breakdown, blame the world and wallow in your sorrows. That makes me glance at my brother, and as he reminds me of the five others, I wonder how much they're holding within themselves. Pain is so hard to give up on. It sticks to you even through the fleeting moments of happiness.

As I extend my hand to touch her grave, I crave for her to reach out and hold me, hug me, hush me with her soft voice, assure me she's here and that she's not leaving me ever again.

I've had so many breakdowns ever since she died. I cried the whole night, mourned her everyday for a week, but the moment I think of her, no matter how much time has passed, a day, a week, a month, the loss feels new, the wounds feel fresh, and my tears chase an escape.

How long until I remember her with a smile?

How long until I think of her and don't regret the moments we missed, rather be grateful for the memories we made?

Grief has so many faces. And each one of them is a stranger. Like we've never met before.

"Tara?" A new voice calls out from behind. I look over my shoulder and find Agastya standing with a bouquet of lilies in his hand. He clears his throat. "You forgot this in the car."

I nod and stretch my arm to take it. "Thank you."

He hums, stepping back to retreat, but then looks at me and a worried frown replaces his blank face. "Are you okay?"