Ruin In Royals (Royal #1: Book 2) | ✔

69

for the Eid on 28th! It was Ganesh Visarjan too so wasn't in the best of my moods.

ps. The practices of different faiths mentioned in this chapter have nothing to do with the individual interpretation of one's own religion.

-• it's too late •-

On 23rd September, I stand in front of my third eldest's room. Hesitation pulls me back every time I lift my hand to knock on the door. I haven't ever done this. Wish my kids Happy Birthday first, that is. I always wanted to. I visit sacred places of every religion and pray for their well being to the almighty above. But I never mustered up the courage to physically approach them and gently caress the back of their head as a blessing.

And now, even after knowing this might be the last time I'll be celebrating his birth, something holds me back from facing him. Even as a father, I could never understand my own kids. Yuvaan ended up as a mystery for me. And nothing could be more painful than that. Just how bad of a parent do you have to be to not know anything about your own kid?

I clench my hand in a fist, my knuckles inches away from hitting the door frame. I give up seconds later. There are a lot of things I won't be able to do in this lifetime. Becoming a good parent for my kids will be one of them. The thought breaks my heart. My feet move in shame, and they come to an embarrassing halt upon meeting the most beautiful blue eyes staring at me fondly. I look away.

"Do it," she whispers.

I walk past her. She grabs my arm. "Tara, I can't."

"You can," she whispers. "Dad, you can. You always could. You just never tried."

I look down at her, tears in my eyes. "You just saw me try."

"No," she replies, "I saw you give up."

"It's twelve. He must be asleep."

She shakes her head and drags me back to Yuvaan's room. I resist half-heartedly. A part of me wanted to give it another go, the other wanted to hide back in my room. She makes me stand in front of his door again and knocks on my behalf. The moment we hear footsteps approach, the little star teeters to hide behind the curtain. The door opens and I stand startled in front of my son.

"Dad?"

I look towards Tara. She peeks from the curtains and gestures me through her expressions to wish him.

Yuvaan leans over to look. I quickly block his sight as Tara hides back in the curtains. "Were you sleeping? Did I disturb you?"

He stands straight, a frown covers his smooth forehead. The golden mutt of his prowls over to stand next to him and looks up at me, his head tilting to the side, the shiny gems of his eyes staring at me curiously.

"No, I was busy fixing the last minute changes."

"Oh, right, the opening is tomorrow." I click my tongue and shake my head, "I mean today. In the daylight. Like when people wake up and stuff-"

Tara slaps her forehead. I hear it.

My lips seal on their own. Silence weighs us down.

Yuvaan's frown deepens. "Do you have something to say?"

"I do, actually," I glance at my wrist watch. "In about six minutes," I nod. As the clock hand strikes 1:07, I look up at him and blurt out the two words that had my thoughts tied to my tongue. "Happy Birthday."

He blinks.

"I- I know kids prefer to be wished at 12, but that wouldn't make sense because you were born at 1 in the morning. So, so yeah, happy birthday."