Anchor [BxB]

The truth

She sits looking up at the ceiling fan, it's spinning quickly above her...but when she looks over she sees the switch is off, meaning the fan in fact was not spinning. Neither was her face in the mirror or her mind that feels like someone has her head open with a wooden spoon in it.

All her intrusive thoughts were starting to feel more doable, everything she ever wanted to do or be can be more than just a thought. Maybe she will go get the boy that she knows is gay and falling in love. Maybe she will go tell her mom that life can't be and won't be sunshine and flowers. Maybe she will go throw someone down a flight of stairs.

The problem is—this isn't what she wants. She never wanted to hurt the boy for she's happy for him and his life, she doesn't want to make her mother feel like shit for giving her everything in the world and in return just wanting her daughter to be happy, she could never just push someone down the stairs just because...but what if?

What if.

Elara

I walk into the doors of the school. I feel a lot better now and more like myself, my usual orchid petals dropping behind me, but I still get nasty looks and comments. I know what people think of me but, it's just not true.

I have to talk to someone about what happened. Someone who would know about the effects of drugs and how it's possible for them to not show up in a urinalysis. I have to get somebody to believe me, but who?

Just then I see Nina walking in the school and saying her goodbyes to her mother before strolling past me. We make eye contact and whew if looks could kill. I shudder at the feeling but set on the fact that she's the person I need to talk to.

-4th period-

I lay in the field of flowers. The light breeze blowing them around. I like to think of the wind as a ghost for we can't see it. This ghost in particular moves things around, flowers, leaves, loose pieces of paper, even trash and trees, to let their lover know that they're still there.

That they'll never go away.

Gardening is my fourth period class. I got the gift of a green thumb when I was 10, as well as destruction and chaos but I don't really like to use or mention that one, so why not use that to get an 'A' instead of collecting barrels of sweat on my good shirts in gym.

Our final was to show our lives using our plants and write about it, So I made a naked woman laying on her side. My inspiration being Te Fiti.

I used certain colors and flowers for different parts of the woman I made using my garden. Golden petunias for her hair that signify the light in her life aka her family and doing what she loves. Antler orchids for her skin that show her beauty and femininity.

But in her center—Nigra Hollyhocks. This is her pain, her depression, her hate for herself even though she's done everything she can to be happy. Even though there's nothing wrong with her, everything's wrong in her eyes.

She is me. I am her. This is us.

The bell sounds for lunch and I get up, dusting my clothes off. I rush to lunch, practically floating, looking for Nina. When I get there I see her walking to her table with a tray of food.

I approach the table where she is seated with A beat up Andreas, A blushing Sea, and a flirting Cassian and AJ. I clear my throat to get her attention and instead I get the attention of the whole table.

"N-Nina could I speak w-with you for a moment?" I ask lightly, looking down at my hands. "No." She says going back to her food and everyone else turns back to what they were doing previously.

I guess I deserved that since she doesn't know the truth yet. I have to keep trying. "It's important Nina, you don't see me trying to hurt anyone." I plead to her and she drops her spoon.

"Aren't you the one who tried to kill Andreas and Sea because Andreas didn't want to be with you but with Sea. Not only are you out your fucking mind, you're homophobic too!" She spits, pointing a finger into my chest.

"That's exactly why I came here Nina. One: to apologize and Two: to ask for your help with something." I say to her. Her eyes are full blown with rage

"HELP YOU WITH WHAT!" She shouts in my face and I pull the pill out my pocket and drop it on the table. They all look at the pill with shock. "I tried to tell the cops that someone gave me drugs, that made me loop in a way, but nothing appeared on the UA and I couldn't remember who gave them to me." I say to them quickly and snatch the pill off of the table before it's seen.

"You think I'll believe that?" She says laughing but my face starts the same stone cold as before. "Somebody has to, I'm asking you to believe me, please. I've never caused trouble before let alone have wanted to ACTUALLY kill people." I say truthfully.

She sits back down and looks at her friends. They have a nonverbal debate with their heads. Andreas, Sea, and Cassian shake their head 'yes' while AJ shakes his head 'no'. "Ok fine Elara. We'll all go to the warehouse after school and get to the bottom of the pill, but if you for a second turn back into what you were before, we'll all take turns snapping your fucking neck." She says with cold words.

"Thank you." Is all I say before I look down at Sea. He seems brighter in a way, happier than he used to be. Andreas, although beaten with bandages covering some scars and hand prints around his throat, looks as though he wouldn't want things to be any other way for him. I kneel down next Sea and look him, as well as Andreas, in the eyes.

"I'm sorry for what I did when I was under the influence. I won't use it as an excuse. I would never intentionally harm either one of you, hell I wouldn't intentionally harm anyone. I don't know what I was thinking. Please forgive me." I say to them sincerely.

They look on the edge about things. I put out both of my hands and form a blue morning glory. While I'm doing this Andreas pulls Sea to him protectively. He can touch him without dying...good things all around. At least they're happy.

I tuck the flower behind Sea's ear and push a few strands of hair back with it. "Pretty flower for a pretty boy." I say and I look at Andreas. We had a nonverbal discussion that ends with a firm head nod.  I stand up and step back from the table. I turn to walk away but Cassian taps me.

"What about my apology? You left me with electric eels!" He says and I look at him, cringing lightly when his words don't bring back any memories.

"Sorry about that." I say to him, apologizing anyway.