Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Chapter 38 - It's My Fault

Nat POV

"No!" I screamed as I scrambled to hold onto Y/N's hands. Tears streamed down my face as I sat totally frozen, unable to do anything.

"Bucky, get Nat out of here now!" Bruce shouted to Buck as I wailed and screamed.

I felt Buck's strong arms wrap around my torso and pulled me up and away from Y/N. I tried to fight and punch, desperate to get back to Y/N but I couldn't, too overcome with exhaustion and sheer shock.

"Please," I whimpered to Buck as I choked on my own tears while he carried me out of the lab and into the living room.

"It's going to be ok," Bucky replied but I could tell he was crying too.

We were both utterly terrified.

He sat down on the sofa with me still in his arms. He moved me gently so I was sitting on his lap as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight yet soft hug.

I cried and cried allowing all of my walls to fall, not caring anymore.

Bucky rubbed my back as he tried to calm me down, focusing on me rather than himself.

Loud screams rang out from my lips as I overcame the shock and was beginning to understand the effects of her death.

"I'll never hear her laugh again." I whimpered against Bucky's hot skin against his neck as he buried his face in my back. "We'll never see her again. I'll never see her again!" I mumbled as I choked on my tears and voice.

We could hear the sounds of Bruce and Tony shouting and the sound of electricity snapping and being pumped into Y/N's chest as they tried to save her.

After a while, the pumps of electric were stopped and silence filled the lab.

I looked up at Buck with half-blurred vision.

He looked utterly broken. Pale face, bloodshot eyes, clenched jaw and quivering lip. His iron grip loosened as I moved to the side to him and I rested my head against his broad shoulder.

"This is all my fault," I whispered. "I can't believe I had done this to her!"

Bucky wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer to him as he held me.

My chest was tight and it was like I could feel my scarred heart breaking and fracturing even more. My tears ran to stop almost like my body had just ran out. My body felt completely numb.

"This isn't your fault Nat. She's very sick. She shouldn't have used her powers." Bucky replied.

"She knew she couldn't use her powers. She wouldn't have unless-"

Everything snapped into place and I jumped up and ran out of the room.

Thankfully as I ran the lab, I could hear the soft beeping of the ECG meaning they had gotten Y/N back.

Gently and quickly, I kissed my knuckle and whispered a thank you as I ran, extremely happy that Y/N hadn't left, quite yet.

I could hear Bucky's pounding footsteps behind me as I ran.

I could feel my anger rising up within my body as I ran faster and faster with each step.

I turn into the other living room when I see him.

I walk over, fists clenched as I glared at him. Wanda and Lena look at me nervously, I did just deafen the compound with my screams so not really surprising.

I punched Steve across the face as hard as I could. I grabbed his collar and pulled him up so I was glaring right at him. "What the fuck did you do to her?" I yelled as he glared at me.

I punched him again and again, making blood squirt across his cheek and dribble down his lips and nose until I felt Bucky's strong arms pull me back once again.

"I didn't do anything!" Steve shouted as he stood up looking down on me.

Bucky tightened his grip around my torso as I wriggled desperate to get out. I was absolutely seething with rage. Everyone else in the living room stood up ready to fight or hold me back if it came down to that.

"She wouldn't have used her powers unless she was scared and protecting herself," I spat as everyone exchanged looks and shifted their vision between me and Steve.

"I didn't do anything!" He repeated. "She was crying and told me to leave but I wanted to talk to her. I walked over to her and she freaked out and threw me out of the room."

"That explains it," Buck whispered.

I turned to look at him as his grip loosened slightly.

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"When we were at Hydra, they used to go and umm... hurt her, every night." Buck began to explain as everyone listened. Wanda visibly tensed up to which Lena put her arm around her to help comfort her.

"Wait, you mean," My voice trailed away as I realised what he meant.

Bucky shifted uncomfortably as he remembered what he wished he could forget. "Yeah. I was in the cell next door. I had to listen to everything. So, she must have panicked when Steve went over to her."

Tears slipped down my face as I learnt what Y/N had gone through every night. I wiped them away quickly. "Let's get back to her Buck."